


My Girl

by i_love_you_crash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Coughing, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship / Flirting / Thinking of You Fest, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major Illness, Miscarriage, Relationship(s), Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 12:40:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1899378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_love_you_crash/pseuds/i_love_you_crash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester had always been an over achiever. School, sports, life in general. He was on the gold paved path to success, that is, until the pressure grew to be too much. Now, with a shining future ruined by narcotic abuse, Sam finds himself rebuilding his life with help from his brother, Dean. As fate would have it, a recovering addict, Jessica Moore, catches Sam's eye and, eventually, his heart. The lovers face the odds when they find a new life in each other, putting their pasts behind them. But good fortune never lasts, and the couple soon finds themselves with an unplanned pregnancy on their hands. Tensions build, and Sam snaps as his world spirals out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I'm not going." Sam turned to his brother waiting for a reaction. 

"The hell you aren't! I'll drag your ass down there myself if I have to." And he would. Sam knew he would. For as long as he could remember, Dean had been nothing less than the archetypal older brother. 

"This needs to be over Sammy! No more 'I'm fine' or 'I've got it under control, Dean'. I think you've proved by now that you can't do this by yourself." 

Sam collapsed onto his favorite easy chair.  
"I know," Sam dropped his head to his hands. "I know" his exhale sounded almost like a laugh.  
"Alright" he sat upright, slapping his hands on his thighs. "Lets go" he stood up and looked across the room at his big brother. 

"Attaboy Sammy", Dean smiled at his little brother, but it was forced. 

Ever since his brother's heroin abuse and refusal to get help, he found it harder and harder to pretend he wasn't disappointed in Sam. In himself, for letting his little brother spiral out of control.  
Hell, it wasn't like he had known about the drug, but he had noticed his little brother's change in behavior.  
\---------------------------------------  
Four months ago, he had noticed that Sam had stopped visiting him and his boyfriend. Usually, Sam had been at their apartment every other day, and it was oddly quiet with just Dean and Cas around. Dean, of course, still called Sam to check in at least once a week. Not that the calls did much good. Dean never got much out of his little brother who always made up some excuse to get off the phone after a few minutes of curt responses and a general evasion of any real conversation.

After a few weeks of a Sam free home, Cas answered the door when he heard a knock. 

His blue eyes widened in surprise.  
"Sam? Hey-Hi come in."  
Sam wordlessly pushed past the smaller man into the apartment.  
"Um, Dean's still at work...if you were looking for him.." Cas locked the door and turned to see Sam just standing in the middle of his living room.  
Sam remained silent, his back to Cas.  
"Sam?" Cas raised an eyebrow. "Sam." He came up behind his friend. He placed a hand on Sam's shoulder and he felt the larger man's stance soften.  
Sam blinked hard and turned to face Cas.  
"Sam...?" Cas was getting tired of this joke.  
Finally Sam's eyes met the worried blue ones.  
"Cas... I uhh, sorry." He stammered then drifted off into space again.  
"Do you want to sit down, Sam?" Cas moved his head to try to get back into Sam's line of vision.  
Sam absentmindedly nodded and turned away from Cas making his way to the large beige monstrosity of a couch.  
Cas shook his head and went into his kitchen area. When he returned he found Sam slumped on the sofa staring up at nothing on the ceiling.  
"Here" Cas handed Sam the glass of water he'd retrieved.  
Sam came out of his daze again and looked at the glass in his hand. He set it down on the coffee table in front of him without taking a sip.  
"Is Dean here?" He refocused on Cas.  
"No," Cas repeated slowly ,"Dean is still at work. You know he works late on Tuesdays Sam." 

Sam looked at him funny "Oh. I guess you're right.." He sat still with a puzzled expression in his face.  
"Are you feeling all right Sam?" Cas furrowed his dark eyebrows, a worried expression on his face. 

"Um, yea. Yea... I just um.." He seemed to forget what he was saying. "I just gotta go." He stood up abruptly and started toward the door. 

"Oh." Cas stood, "Well um, come by again soon Sam. We miss having you around." Cas tried. 

"Yea. Um...yea." Sam bobbed his head and chewed on his lip, standing with his hand on the doorknob.  
He closed his eyes and shook his head, then quickly left his brother's apartment. 

"What the hell?.." Cas muttered under his breath. 

Later, when Dean had gotten home from the garage, Cas greeted him with a kiss.  
"Hey baby."Dean smiled. 

Cas smiled up at Dean and pulled him in for another soft kiss.  
"I hate when you work late" Cas said against Dean cheek. 

"I know Baby, I do too" Dean hugged him tight. 

Cas was the one who finally broke the embrace when he said, "Your brother came by today."

Dean's face reflected his surprise.  
"Really? Why?" 

"That's just it." Said Cas sitting down on the couch. 

"What do you mean?" Dean joined him. 

"Well, he asked for you, and when I reminded him you weren't here, he just left."

"He knows I work late on Tues-" Dean started.

"I know." Cas leaned towards him. "But Dean, he was acting so strange."

"What do you mean? Was he alright?" Dean's worry for his little brother showed on his face. 

"I mean, there didn't seem to be anything wrong with him really. He was just kind of out of it. Very.....spacey." Cas took Dean's hand. 

Dean felt the relief wash over him. "He's just stressed, Cas. With finals coming up, he was always so stressed in high school, probably even more now." 

His little brother had always been an overachiever. Straight A's all through high school, and varsity football for three years. Then, Sam had been accepted into a pre-law program right out of high school and done phenomenally.  
Now that was almost over and he had a shot at a free ride to Stanford if all went well this semester. It was a matter of weeks before he found out if he had made it. The scholarship was the only way he would be able to peruse his dreams. With both mother and father out of the picture, the boys had been pretty much on their own for a long time.  
Dean had saved and helped Sam pay for the classes he took now, but there was no way they could swing Stanford tuition fees.  
With no other option but success, of course Sam was stressed. This of course, was the reason he started getting high in the first place. But how could Dean know that he had been high during the visit with Cas?

"Once he gets that scholarship, everything will go back to normal. He's just under a lot of pressure." Dean reassured his boyfriend. 

"Of course" Cas chided himself for worrying. "I feel silly now. I had completely forgotten!" He laughed. 

Dean smiled at Cas's laugh. He leaned forward and pressed Cas against the arm of the couch. He dipped his head and gave him a long hard kiss. "I love you Baby" he whispered. 

Cas's response was a laugh against Dean's lips as he said, " I love you too, pretty boy".

\---------------------------------------

The next week, Dean was leaving the house to go to work at the garage when his phone rang. 

"Sammy's school?" He muttered confused when he checked the caller ID.  
He picked up, slightly worried.  
"Hello?" 

A woman's voice replied, "Hello is this Dean Winchester, Samuel Winchester's brother?" 

"Yes, that's me." 'What the hell are they calling me for?' He thought. 

"This is Professor Ellen Harvelle, I am one of Samuel's professors." 

"Yea..?" Dean saw Cas come out of their bedroom straightening his blue tie. 

"Who is it?" He mouthed. 

"Sam's school" Dean mouthed back. 

Cas's eyes narrowed in confusion, he joined Dean by the door. 

The professor's voice came in again "Well, Samuel has been one of my best students thus far, and I rather enjoy having him in my class, and I was wondering if everything was alright." 

"Um, of course. Why... Why do you ask?" Dean was well past confused. 

"Well, Samuel hasn't been to any of his classes for the past," she paused as if to check a record, "two and a half weeks."

Dean's mouth went dry. He tried to swallow, his voice came out as a whisper, "What?"

"I take it you weren't aware of this?" The professor sounded very calm; a detail that Dean found unreasonably irritating. 

He found his voice again. "No, I-I didn't know that."  
Cas's blue eyes were on his face, asking what had happened. 

"Well, seeing as final exams are approaching quickly, I highly recommend that Samuel return to his classes immediately and he might just be able to pass. He has been a very promising student so far and I would hate for him to ruin his chances with Stanford." 

"Yes, yes of course. Um, thank you for checking on him." Dean didn't know what to think.

"Of course. Have a nice day Mr. Winchester. I look forward to seeing your brother again soon." 

"Thank you for calling...bye.." Dean hung up the phone, his mouth hanging open. 

"Dean? Babe what's wrong? Why did they call? Is Sam okay?" Cas pressed his hands onto Dean's chest. 

"Sam-Sam hasn't gone to classes in a few weeks. I have to go see him. I have to make sure he's all right." He started towards the door. 

"I'll come with you" Cas started but Dean cut him off. 

"No, one of us should get to work today. Call Bobby and tell him I'm sick will you?" He pushed open the door and didn't wait for Cas to reply.

He had to get to Sammy.  
\---------------------------------------  
When he pulled into the parking lot of Sam's apartment complex, he nearly jumped out of his car and ran up the stairs. 

When he got to Sam's door he heard a girl's giggle. 

"Does he have a girl in there? What the Hell?" Dean thought. 

He heard his brothers deep voice, but couldn't make out what he was saying. Heavy footsteps followed. 

Dean unlocked the door and threw it open in time to see a petite brunette lowering a needle to Sam's outstretched arm.

"Sam!" Dean yelled and ran towards him. 

The girl shrieked and dropped the syringe. Sam jumped when Dean yelled but now he was fumbling for the needle on the ground. 

"Sammy No!" Dean cried again and jumped on his brother, wrenching the needle from his grasp. 

"Dean! Dean! No! I need it Dean!" Sam yelled and wrestled his brother for the drug. 

Sam was much larger than his older brother, but Dean was not about to give up. 

"No you don't Sammy! This isn't you!" He struggled to keep his brother on the ground and threw the syringe behind him. 

"You don't understand, Dean! I need it. Please!"

Sam got an arm free and swung at Dean, connecting with his jaw and sending a blast of pain to his head. 

Dean grabbed his cheek and Sam took the opportunity to push his brother off of him. "Fuck!" Dean shouted and kicked his legs out in Sam's direction causing him to fall flat on his stomach. The girl cowering in the corner let out a shriek. "Don't hurt him!" Dean righted himself and grabbed his brother by the shoulders, trying to both hold him down and meet his eyes. Sam jerked his body like a wild animal caught in a net. Dean toppled off of his little brother again and Sam scrambled in the direction of the door. "Sammy stop!" Dean leapt at him again and Sam went down, slamming his head against the coffee table. Sam crumpled, out cold. 

Dean pushed himself up off the ground and turned.  
"Who the hell are you?" He spat blood towards the girl who was now plastered against the wall in fear. 

"Ruby" she breathed, "please don't hurt-"

"Get the hell out of here." He shook with rage, pointing a finger towards her. "You stay the fuck away from my brother! You stay the fuck away from him!" He yelled as she ran out of the still open door. 

He turned back to his unconscious brother laying behind him.  
He sat down next to him and lifted his little brother's head into his lap. Pushing back his long brown hair, he looked down looked at Sam's unresponsive face. 

The rage had faded, traded for despair.  
"Oh Sammy. I'm so sorry Sammy" tears blurred his vision. "I was supposed to look out for you Sammy, I'm sorry I let this happen." He wiped tears from his eyes. "I'm going to help you Sammy. I'm gunna help you beat this thing." He choked, "I promise." 

He sniffed and fumbled for his phone in his pocket.  
"Dean?" The voice on the other line answered. 

"Hey Cas..."  
\---------------------------------------  
During the months that followed, Sam's progress wavered. 

Dean had insisted that Sam stay with him and Cas.  
Sam had not gone back to school and now the tuition money Dean provided was going into rehab. 

Sam had been clean for three weeks until one night Cas came home from work to find him in the apartment high as a kite. 

Of course all of this took a toll on Dean, who slept less frequently and missed work days to watch Sam. 

For awhile, Sam had refused to go to rehab on the basis of , "I'm really okay Dean. Just being here with you guys is helping."  
Whenever he smiled at Dean and told that lie, he knew Dean wouldn't make him go and would probably leave him home alone that day, giving him the opportunity to go get high. 

But after being caught by Cas again, Dean put his foot down.  
Once his little brother's high wore off, he sat him down in the living room. 

Sam glared at him like a surly teenager. Dean returned the gaze with a shit eating grin.

"Sam. This ends now. You are moving back into your apartment tomorrow. I will take you there, let you settle in again, then I will drive you to rehab. Where I will stay until your session is over. Then I will drive you home, where I will leave you by yourself. But, I will be calling you every hour and if I get even the slightest hint that you are high or if you do not pick up, I will drive to your apartment, pick you up and you will be sleeping on my couch again." 

"Dean," Sam sighed.

"No." He laughed, "No." He sobered. "Not again. Fight me all you want, I don't care that you're 21, you're suck being my little brother and I promised I would help you." 

Sam set his jaw. His eyes were cold. "Did you ever stop to think that I'm happier like this? Without all the stress, without the responsibility." 

"Well one thing you aren't without is me. And I'm not gunna let you throw your life away." Dean reached out his hand to his brother. 

Sam recoiled and moved his hand out of Dean's reach. "Go fuck yourself!" he spat. 

Dean stood, "Fortunately, I have Cas for that. Now go get your stuff and meet me in the car." 

\---------------------------------------

Sam hated rehab, he hated the group meetings, he hated knowing that Dean didn't trust him anymore. But it helped, it really did. After a while of regular meetings and staying clean, he realized the impact of what he had done. He hadn't finished his pre-law schooling, he wasn't going to Stanford anymore, and worst of all, he had hurt Dean and Cas. 

\---------------------------------------

So when he told his brother he wasn't going, it was just to make sure Dean still cared enough to make him. 

When Dean had smiled and said "Attaboy Sammy." Sam had known it was forced, but the fact that Dean was still trying to encourage him was enough.  
So he followed Dean out to his brother's car and let himself be taken to yet another rehab support  
group.


	2. Chapter 2

Mrs. Jody Mills, Director of the rehab support group, had a new plan for that particular day's agenda.

She smiled and greeted everyone as they entered the building, genuinely happy that they had chosen to return. 

"Hiya Sam. Good to see you back." She beamed and shook his hand. 

"Nice to see you Jody." He gave a quick smile then continued into the room. He took the seat by the door, like he always did, so when it was over, he could get out before anyone tried to talk to him.  
Though he didn't hate coming like he used to, it was still no treat.  
He looked around. Some returners, some new faces, some absent. 

This was how it always was. Sometimes even though you try, you can't keep your head above water. Sam was no stranger to this, every time someone stopped coming to meetings, he couldn't help but feel a sense of longing for the short lived binge he had ridden, knowing that someone else had fallen back into their old habits.

Of course the thoughts were quickly dismissed when he thought of his brother. He couldn't disappoint him again. Not like that...

Sam's eyes continued to wander the room until they settled on someone.  
"Shit" he smiled to himself. 

A pretty blonde stood in the doorway having an animated conversation with Jody. The two seemed to know each other. 

The girl's blue eyes laughed when her full lips parted in a smile. She hugged Jody then began to make her way into the room.  
She paused for a moment, looking for a place to sit. She scanned the room and her gaze fell on Sam who quickly dropped his eyes. He felt her eyes on him as she took a seat across from him in the circle of foldable plastic chairs. 

He looked up again and saw that the blonde's eyes were now on Jody as she entered the circle. 

An older man Sam knew as Rufus and an ex-alcoholic slumped into the seat next to him.  
"Pretty ain't she?" Rufus gestured with his dark skinned hand across the circle. 

Sam sat still as if he hasn't heard.

Jody began, "Hello everyone! Most of you know me, but I'm Jody Mills for those new faces out there."

Sam glanced again at the blonde who was smiling at Jody. 

"Today, I would like to take a different approach than at our previous meetings. In order to emphasize the necessity of stable relationships while battling with our inner demons, I would like for some of you to become better acquainted." She clapped her hands together. 

"So, instead of sharing our stories with everyone today, you each will spend the remainder of our time together forming a friendship or acquaintanceship by telling your story to one person." 

"Oh great" Sam heard Rufus mutter under his breath. 

Sam smirked at the old man's attitude then looked again to Jody. 

"Now," she raised her hands. "Everyone up! Find your new friend!" She beamed. 

Sam quickly stood. He had to get as far away from Rufus as he could before he got stuck with the old bastard for the next hour and a half. 

He saw the pretty blonde from before, standing alone and looking around, hands clasped at her waist. 

"What the hell." Sam thought and pushed past the growing mob. 

He made his way up to her. "Hi, I'm Sam Winchester." he said and gave a shy smile. 

She stuck out her hand and returned his smile, "Jessica Moore, pleased to meet you Sam." 

'Gosh she's pretty' he thought. 

"I don't think I've seen you here before. First time?" He took her hand and shook. 

"Yea, Jody convinced me that it would help." She shrugged and sat down, patting the seat next to her. 

"Make yourself comfortable Sam, we've got exactly one hour and twenty three minutes to go." She smiled and stuck out the tip of her tongue. 

He smiled and took the seat next to her.  
"You've got it all figured out." He laughed. 

"This isn't exactly my idea of fun." She joked. 

"I hear you." He thought of his brother; the only real reason he was here.

"So Sam, what's your story, don't spare me the gory details." She leaned towards him. 

He shifted slightly in his chair, widening the space between them. 

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" She raised her eyebrows and smirked.

He half laughed half coughed and said, "Maybe a little." 

She leaned in further. 

'What the hell?' Sam found himself wondering again. He was actually enjoying this. 

"Well, um I'm twenty one, I was class valedictorian in high school and enrolled in a pre law program in college. I was doing well, actually, on my way towards Stanford. But um, it was too much." He exhaled.  
"It was too much you know?" 

He saw her eyes soften and she leaned back in her chair, wordless, obviously waiting for more. 

"I met a girl, Ruby, we had been talking for awhile, she seemed to get me; understand what I was going through. She told me I needed to mellow out." He forced a laugh. 

"At that point I agreed. I didn't care how I stopped the stress, I just had to stop it."  
Jess was still watching him and listening, arms wrapped around herself. 

"So," he continued, taking a deep breath, "I just started trying things. I didn't like smoking so pot was out, I tried a lot of things actually that I didn't like. Guess that should have been a red flag, right? But I kept trying. Eventually we found out I didn't mind needles, so I have heroin a shot." He hated telling her this. He hated the nonchalant way he was able to tell this story. Like he was trying to play it off as if it was no big deal. She didn't need to hear his problems. So he stopped for a moment. He looked away from her. 

"Hey," he looked down to see her hand on his. "This is why you're here isn't it? To come to terms with what you did so you can move past it? You're going to have to listen to me pretty soon, I'm happy to help by listening to you."  
He smiled at her. 

"How could a nice girl like you get messed up in all of this shit?" He asked. 

"You'll find out soon enough" she sat back in her chair, her hand sliding off of his, "And I'm not that nice. Now keep going." She encouraged.

"Okay." He took a breath. "I got addicted pretty quickly. Every time I came down off of a high I felt so bad for getting high in the first place, that the only way to stop the feeling was to get high again." 

"I stopped talking to my big brother almost altogether. We were so close before. He still called me, but I never let him talk for long. I always felt so guilty. All he had ever done was look out for me and I couldn't let him know what I had done. What I was doing." 

"Then how did he find out? I doubt you would be here today, rehab I mean, if he hadn't." She asked.

Sam forced another laugh, "He caught me. I hadn't been to classes in weeks and I guess the school called to see if I would be returning. So, he came over to bust my balls and found Ruby getting ready to help me shoot up. I remember...he tackled me trying to get that syringe away." He gulped, "And I fought him for it too." He hated talking about this part, even more so with Jessica. 

"I hit him hard.. I probably would have hurt him worse if i hadn't of knocked myself out..." He wiped a tear from his eye before it had the chance to roll down his face. 

"Wait," Jessica bit her lower lip to suppress a smirk. "You knocked yourself out?" 

Sam grinned despite himself. "Yeah.. Well, I mean, he helped."

"Okay okay," she composed herself. "Continue."

"Dean, my brother, he still helped me. He took me in and never gave up on me. Hell, I hated him for it, I hated myself for hating him for it, but I did. As soon as I was left alone, I would go out again and get high. I would get caught and he would yell and I would yell, but the next day, he would stay home and watch me. He didn't care if I wouldn't talk to him, he just knew.. He knew that I needed him, so he was there." He smiled and looked up again at Jessica, her expression sympathetic.  
"But um, I've been sober for three months. And that's worth something. I even have a job again, at the garage where Dean works. I'm getting my life back together." He nodded matter-of-factly and gave her another smile. 

"That's great Sam.." She reached out to him again, grabbing his hand, "That's really great."  
She just sat there staring at him for a moment before Sam broke their silence.

"So, Jessica, what's your story?" He asked turning her hand over in his.

She broke her stare and Sam could have sworn he saw her blush, but when her eyes met his again, it was gone. 

"My Dad's an alcoholic," she said rather quickly. "My mom left us when I was eleven, she ran off with her boss."  
Sam recognized the forced laugh she gave. 

"Growing up, my dad's behavior was very inconsistent. Some days he was fine and some days I didn't feel safe around him. No kid should have to feel that way..." She trailed off.

"So I tried to stay away from home as much as possible. I stayed out late or camped out in my yard or stayed over at friend's houses regularly. His drinking got so bad that by the time I was fifteen I was staying the night with guys just so I wouldn't have to go home." She ducked her head slightly, breaking eye contact.

"They knew it too..they didn't care. No one ever tried to help me... One night, I was probably seventeen, I was out partying and I met a guy. He seemed to like me and he was nice enough, so I figured he would be my reason not to go home that night." 

She took Sam's hand in both of hers and absentmindedly traced his palm with her fingertips.  
Sam however, hardly paid the contact any attention as he listened to her attentively.

"So," she continued, "I followed him around all night. We danced, we talked, we got a little drunk. And then he asked me if I wanted to get out of there. Of course I said yes being the little whore I was." She said bitterly. 

"Don't say that," Sam interrupted. 

She raised her eyebrows. "Buddy, if the shoe fits..." She shook her head and started again.

"First he said we had to meet a few of his friends. So I followed him over to a table in the back of the bar. God, everyone at that table was either blasted or high. Then the guy I was with, Alister, started snorting coke. When he offered it to me, I didn't want him to decide he didn't like me if I said no, so I snorted it right along with him." 

Sam watched her sitting across from him, blonde curls hiding her face. 

"But when I was high, I felt... So alive. I didn't care that I was practically whoring myself out or that if I came home I would have to hide. I just felt so good in that bar with Alister. I don't even remember if I ended up going home with him or not. I just remembered that feeling. And once I'd had a taste, I couldn't stay away. Snort it, smoke it, it didn't matter, just so long as I got it in my system."

She dropped Sam's hand from hers. 

"But now I'm 5 months sober and I've gotten my dad to drink less. I'm a beautician at a salon and I'm going to school to become a teacher."

She met Sam's gaze again. 

He smiled at her. "Nice job, Jessica." 

"Thank you, Sam."

They just sat smiling at each other for awhile, totally oblivious to the conversations and the people they belonged to around them.

Sam heard Jody's voice from across the room and it reminded him of something Jessica had said. 

"You said that Jody convinced you to come here. How do you two know each other?" He broke their silence.

"Oh!" Jessica laughed. "Jody is my aunt. My father's 'problem' is the reason she got into this business."

"Well good for her!" And Sam meant it. "Not everyone can turn a situation around like that. Jody, she's really special." He smiled at Jody across the room, who smiled back and gave a wave. 

Jessica turned in her aunt's direction and returned the gesture.  
"Yea, I'm lucky to have her." She said turning back to Sam.  
"She really helped me get a hold on everything when she found out what a bad place I was in. Like your brother did for you." 

"Yeah, it's lucky that we both had the help." She was so easy to talk to.

Jessica half smiled and nodded.  
"So Sam, you have any plans after this?" She raised her eyebrows. "I would love to continue getting to know you minus the sob stories.

"Oh" he was taken aback. "No, nope I'm free this afternoon." 

"Perfect! Lets go down town."  
She suggested immediately. 

"Sounds good. Just um, I have to call my brother. He still keeps pretty close tabs on me." He fumbled for his phone in his pocket. 

"Sure. And Sam, make sure to tell him not to wait up." She teased.

Sam laughed and strolled to a somewhat empty corner of the room. 

Dean picked up almost immediately.  
"What's up Sammy?"

"Nothing, everything's good."  
He shoved his empty hand in his pocket. 

Silence on the other line.  
"Well?" Dean asked finally.

"Oh yea." Why was he so nervous? "I met someone at the session and we we're gonna go hang out downtown, so you don't need to pick me up." 

Dean was quiet for awhile.  
"Can I trust you Sam?"

"Yea, yea, no I'm fine Dean."  
He really felt fine, it was one of his good days. 

"Okay Sammy...just..just don't be stupid." 

Sam smiled. "Don't worry." 

"We both know I'll worry anyway." Dean said with a laugh, but he was only half joking.

Sam was about to say goodbye when Dean interrupted him.  
"One more thing Sammy. Is this 'someone' a chick?" 

Sam smiled, "Maybe.."

"It is! Sammy you sly dog!" 

Sam laughed.

"Hey Cas!" He heard Dean yell. "Sammy's going on a date!" 

"Woohoo!" Cas's voice cried in the background. 

Sam laughed again. "It's hardly a date."

"What's her name? Is she hot?" His big brother teased. 

"Bye Dean," Sam laughed again. 

"Wait, how big are her-" Sam hung up before his brother could finish. 

He made his way back over to Jessica. 

She noticed the goofy grin on his face. "That must have gone well." She joked. 

"Yea." Sam agreed. "It felt like everything was back to normal..." 

"I'm glad Sam. I really am." She looked behind Sam.  
Sam notice her gaze and raised his eyebrows. "What?" He turned as well. "Those guys don't seem to be having a great time.." Rufus sat glaring at his partner, a tall lanky young man who looked like he needed a hug and a hamburger. Sam smirked. "That's just how Rufus makes friends. He only wants you to think he hates you, but he just doesn't want to be the first to share." She wrinkled her nose. "Well I'm glad I didn't get stuck with him then." She stared at something new now. Another spot behind Sam. He turned following her gaze to Jody who had taken her place at the head of the circle.  
Sam sat back down to hear her end of session speech. 

"Everyone, thank you all for joining me today. I'm pleased to see that many of you seem to have made a connection with someone." She glanced over at Sam, flicking up an eyebrow.  
Sam felt heat crawl up his neck but he just smiled back at Jody.  
"This concludes another of our meetings, I hope to see you all here next week at this same time. If anyone would like to see me privately, they may do so now. And to the rest of you, goodbye and have a nice day." 

Jessica grabbed Sam's hand pulling him out of his chair. She wove through the crowd and out the door, Sam following close behind.  
She glanced behind herself and laughed when she saw Sam's surprised face.  
'She sure is something else' thought Sam as he tried to keep up. 

They had left the building and were nearing a small green Volkswagen Bug.  
Jessica released his hand and made her way over to the drivers side.  
Sam quickly jogged past her to beat her there.  
With a dramatic sweep of his arm, he opened her door and bowed his head, looking up at her with a goofy grin. 

"Sam Winchester, what a gentleman." She laughed as she hopped into the car.  
Sam closed the door behind her and made his way over to the passenger's seat, having to duck his head so he wouldn't bump it on the low roof. 

"Seatbelt." Jessica looked at him accusingly. "We've done enough stupid in our lives, no need to add to the list." 

Sam put up his hands in surrender then fastened his seatbelt. 

"So Sam," Jessica said as she pulled out. "Is there a special someone that's gunna come hunt me down for taking you out?"

"What? No," he said quickly. "No one like that." 

"Well good." Jessica said, eyes still on the road. 

"Good for you?" Sam tried. 

"Well, if I decide I like you, I would hate to have to break you two up." Jessica looked at him seriously, but her eyes gave her smile away. 

Sam laughed. "Fortunately that will not be an issue. What about you? Is there some big strong boyfriend who's going to beat me up for hanging out with you?" Flirting wasn't something he was used to anymore, but it seemed to be coming back. 

As it turned out, Jessica was better at it.  
"Nope. Just an insanely jealous heavy weight boxing champ for a husband. But," she looked him up and down, "I think you could take him." 

"To the winner go the spoils." Sam joked. "Mind if I turn on the radio?"

"Go ahead." She turned down Main street. 

He flipped between stations.  
"If I can't have you! I don't want nobody baby! If I can't have-" 

"Nope." Sam changed the station. 

The radio sang, "I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month if May."

"I can't stand that song.", complained Jessica. 

Sam smirked and turned it up.  
"I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way. My girl, talking bout my girl. My girl!" He sang to Jessica. 

She took one hand off the wheel to shove him. "Don't make me regret this." She joked. 

Sam laughed and shut off the radio as they pulled into a parking space. 

Jessica turned off the car and Sam quickly hopped out, banging his head in the process.  
"Crap!" His hand flew to his head and he laughed and hurried to open Jessica's door for her. 

"Are you alright?!" She stepped towards him, she touched his shoulder as if to steady him. 

"Yeah. Don't worry about it." He laughed, completely aware or her hand on him. 

"All that hair gives an extra cushion does it?" She smiled and half stuck out her tongue using her other hand to flick at his long hair. 

She was standing so close to him, her hand still on his shoulder, Sam just stood there with a smile on his face. He wanted to kiss her. He really wanted to kiss her. 

Jessica stared up at Sam. His crooked smile was so sexy. Why didn't he just kiss her already?

Sam gulped and took a step backward. "So, where do you want to go first?" 

Jessica's hand dropped, skimming the fabric of Sam's shirt.  
She smiled when she felt the hard muscle beneath.  
"We could go get coffee." She offered. "My treat." 

"I wouldn't hear of it." Sam refused. "My treat." 

He took her by the arm and lead her to the sidewalk. 

"If you insist." Jessica smiled, glad to be touching him again. 

They both ordered their drinks then decided to walk around some more. 

Still stuck in his head from earlier, Sam began to hum the tune of 'My Girl'. 

They stopped in a space between two buildings. 

"Oh not that again!" Jessica cried and shoved Sam's shoulder. 

Sam broke out in song, "I don't need no money, fortune or fame. I've got all the riches, baby, one man can claim."  
He took Jessica by the waist, forcing her in front of him.  
He leaned closer to her, bending down slightly and sang, "I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My girl! Talking bout my girl! My girl!" 

"You're so annoying!" She laughed trying to pull away from his singing trap. 

He held onto her arms this time. He stared into her eyes and stepped closer. 

"What are you doing?" Jessica whispered. Tilting her head upward. 

He smiled and dropped his hands to her waist.  
"I don't know."  
He dipped his head and cupped her cheek with one hand.  
Her eyes fluttered shut as she felt his breath on her lips.  
Slowly and softly, Sam lowered his mouth to hers.  
Jessica's found her arms wrapped around Sam's neck pulling him closer.  
Her fingers pulled on the hair at the nape of his neck as their kiss deepened.  
Sam's lips moved to the corner of her mouth, her cheek, right below her jawline.  
"Sam," she breathed, "there are people."

Sam pulled away from her quickly.  
His hands fell at his sides.  
"I-I'm sorry Jessica." 

She smirked. "Don't be." 

She shoved Sam against the side of the building, hiding him from the other shoppers.

She pushed herself against him and found his lips with hers.  
His hands caressed the warm skin  
of her back where her shirt had ridden up.  
Her breathing got heavier as she pulled up on his shirt, untucking it from his jeans.  
He moaned against her mouth as her hands explored his abdomen.  
He pulled up on her shirt his hands rising higher on her back. 

They were totally oblivious to the people walking past them, as they were hidden by a tall shrub. 

It wouldn't have been hard for a passerby to notice the couple and embarrass the hell out of them, but for the moment neither of them cared. That was, unfortunately, when a little boy ran past them and laughed.

Jessica quickly released Sam, both of them disappointed to be separated.  
"Lets go," Jessica grabbed Sam's hand and they made their way back to her car. 

Once they got inside Jessica just started driving. Sam watched her from the passenger's side seat, but she didn't looked back at him once.  
Sam looked at the car clock. 8:09 when had that happened?! The meeting had been over at 5:30! 

"Where do you live Sam?" Jessica finally broke the silence. 

"Take the next left on East Avenue then my apartment building is on the right." Was she going home with him? He started to panic. He didn't know why, but all of a sudden they were moving too fast. 

"Um Jess?" He started. They were already pulling into his parking lot. 

She raised her eyebrows as if to ask, "What?" 

She parked the car and turned to Sam. 

"I'm sorry." He started. 

She leaned in to kiss him again, "What is it with you and sorry?" She smiled against his lips. 

He gently pushed on her shoulders. When they separated, he said, "I don't think I can do this Jessica. The last time I jumped into something.." 

She reached out and touched his face, her expression softening, "It's okay." She smiled and shook her head. "It's okay, we don't have to. We can take it slow." She kissed him softly.  
"How about you call me, Sam? Whenever you're ready to see me again." 

He smiled back at her, "Thank you." 

"Of course." 

She squeezed his hand, "Goodnight Sam." 

"Goodnight Jess." 

Sam floated into his apartment. Even if he had tried, he would not have been able to get that stupid song out of his head.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Sam woke up to the sound of Dean's ringtone.   
He rolled over in his bed groaning as he let "Smoke on the Water" continue to blare from his phone. 

Finally he picked it up.   
"Mmhh, hello?" He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. 

"Sammy it's Dean." 

"Yea?" 'Caller ID, duh' he thought. 

"Just checkin in," Dean replied. 

"Well you just woke me up on my day off." Sam complained. 

"I'm sorry Rapunzel," he heard Dean laugh. 

"It's Sleeping Beauty, dumb ass." 

"Shut up! Same thing. And you've got THE HAIR." Dean emphasized the last two words. 

"Are you done?" Sam rolled out of bed. 

"Why you got something better to do? Or someONE?" 

"Dean," Sam sighed. "Nothing happened." He said even as the events of yesterday played over in his head. He smiled remembering what HAD happened. 

"She's there isn't she?" 

"What? No!" Sam insisted. 

"Aww c'mon Sammy lets hear all the nasty little details." Dean pushed.

"Nothing to tell." Sam walked across the room and picked up the receipt from the coffee shop yesterday. Written on it was Jessica's phone number.   
He smiled again. He could hardly wait to see her. 

"Really?" Dean sounded unsatisfied. 

"Really." Sam confirmed. 

"Alright, shoulda known better, you never kiss and tell." 

Sam rolled his eyes. 

"Hey I heard that!" Dean said. 

"What?!" Sam shook his head. 

"You didn't say it, but you were thinkin it." 

"Whatever Dean." Sam walked across the apartment into his living room and flopped on the couch. 

"Hey, do you wanna come hang out with Cas today? There was a scheduling thing and he ended up with the day off. I hate to leave him alone, but Bobby needs me. Mondays are pretty busy."

Sam hesitated, looking at Jessica's message, 'You better call me Sam Winchester ❤'. 

"Sammy? You still there?" Dean's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Yea," he put down the receipt. "Yea, tell Cas I'll be there around 10." 

"Alright Sammy. See you later." 

"Bye Dean." 

Sam tossed his phone onto the coffee table and stretched out on his couch, feet sticking out over the armrest. 

'I need a bigger couch.' He thought to himself for the thousandth time. 

He turned to face the clock. '7:58' it read. 

"I've got some time," he muttered to himself. 

He reached for the TV remote and caught sight again of the receipt on his table. 

'Should I..?' He picked it up. 'No it's too early..'  
But he still held the slip of paper in his hand. 

He began to argue with himself.   
'I just want to talk to her.' He decided.   
'But she did say to call when I was ready to SEE her again..' He remembered.   
'Then I just have to see her.' He concluded.   
'But I promised I'd spend the day with Cas.'   
'But I could spend the NIGHT with Jess..'   
'No.' He couldn't. That had become fairly obvious last night. 

Finally he said aloud, "Stop being stupid, just call her and say hi."   
He picked up his phone. '8:05'   
'Girls liked good morning calls right?' 

He entered in Jessica's number.   
He held his breath as it rang.   
"Hi," Jessica's voice finally said. 

"Jess-" Sam began but was interrupted. 

"You've reached Jess! Leave a message and I'll give you a call back later. Bye!" The recorded message finished.   
'Beep' 

"Good morning Jess, it's Sam," he stammered. "I just called to say um...good morning..."   
He smacked himself in the forehead. 'Why do I always have to be such a dumb ass?' He wondered. 

"I mean, uh I wanted to say hi, so.. Hi.. Jess."   
'Oh my god I'm an idiot.' He thought. 'Better wrap this up.'

"Well, I think I've embarrassed myself enough for right now, so call me back when you can. Bye." 

He dropped his phone on the floor. 

"What. The. Hell?"   
"I'm a dumb ass!" He decided. 

He got up and returned to his bedroom where he got ready for the day. 

\---------------------------------------

After a long shower and shave, Sam had gotten dressed and was in the process of making breakfast when he looked at the clock  
to see that it was 9:45. 

"How-" he had to stop spacing out or he would be late to everything. 

He swallowed his remaining breakfast and chugged a glass of milk, most of it ending up on his shirtfront.

"Gahh damn it!" He pulled his t-shirt over his head, tossing it aside and grabbed his light blue button up from yesterday which was lying on a chair. 

He pulled it on and pushed his way out of the door, fastening the buttons as he went. 

"Hey Sam," he heard and whipped his head around. 

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?", the familiar dark haired girl advanced toward him. 

"My brother's." he replied, not really interested in talking to the flirt. 

She walked up to him slowly, swinging her hips.   
"What a shame," she pouted, "I had hoped we could hang out today." 

One night four months ago, when Sam had just started using, he had spent the night with her. She hadn't stopped trying to turn it into something more than a one night stand ever since. 

"Sorry Meg, I'm busy." He turned and continued down the stairs. 

"See you later?" She called after him. 

"Not if I can help it.", he muttered, acting as though he hadn't heard.

He got in his car and drove away. 

He didn't hear his phone ring when Jess called him back. This was because it was still on the floor of his apartment where he had left it.

\---------------------------------------

When he knocked on the door, it flew open almost immediately.

"Hey Sam!" Cas pulled him into the apartment with a hug.

"How are you Cas?" Sam smiled and hugged him back. 

Cas pulled away and stepped out of Sam's way.   
"Can't complain."

Sam walked into the apartment.   
"I'm lucky you were free today Sam," Cas said as he closed the door, "haven't mad much of a chance to catch up lately."

"I know," Sam thought of the busy schedule Dean had been keeping him on. Even today, Sam was sure that Dean had invited him over just so Cas could watch him.

"So, Dean tells me you went on a date yesterday." Cas sat down and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Sam sat down on a chair across from Cas.   
"We just got coffee." He insisted.   
"Nothing special."   
He tried to keep a straight face but couldn't disguise his smile. 

"Look at you Sam!" Cas laughed.   
"I'm proud of you. You're really getting your life back together." 

"Thanks Cas, but it wasn't anything big." He looked down and shook his head, but Cas still saw his smile.   
He also saw something on the collar of Sam's shirt. 

"Is that," he reached out and tugged in his collar, "lipstick?"   
He tried to contain his amusement.

"What?!" Sam jumped up and dashed to the bathroom.   
"Oh shit," he smiled as he looked in the mirror.   
It WAS lipstick. 

Cas appeared in the doorway.  
"I though you told Dean that nothing happened..?" Cas laughed, leaning against the doorframe. 

Sam couldn't get the smile off of his face. 

"Wait that was yesterday.." Cas's eyes widened, "Did you see her this morning? Did she spend the night?" He pushed his way into the small room, crowding Sam. 

"What?! No. No!" He pushed past Cas and out of the bathroom.   
"This is the shirt I wore yesterday when we-"   
He turned around to see Cas break into a laugh. 

"When you what, Sam?" 

"When...when nothing happened." Sam tried not to laugh. 

"Alright, alright." Cas put up his hands in surrender. "So who is she? What's she like?" He folded his arms across this chest.

Sam looked down and smiled to himself. When he looked up again he said, "Jessica. Her name is Jessica. And she is the most beautiful girl in the world."

\---------------------------------------

After going on about Jess, Sam was feeling better and better about the whole situation. 

Cas was so encouraging about the whole thing, that Sam just let everything pour out. 

"Cas, I'm worried." He finally said after awhile of silence between them. His smile fading.

"Why? Sam, she sounds great!" Cas screwed up his face in confusion. 

"It's just that... I feel like this is all moving too quickly. Like last night, we almost went back to my place..."   
He trailed off. 

"But you didn't." Cas finished. 

"But we almost did! We had just met Cas, and we were about to spend the night together." 

"And the last time you jumped into something.. It was..."

"Yeah." Sam confirmed. 

"But she seems good for you, and you had the sense to slow things down. And she agreed! Sam! This is a good thing!" Cas shifted his position on the couch so he had direct eye contact with Sam.   
"You need something good right now, you deserve it. I think she's it." He gave Sam an encouraging smile. 

"You know what," Sam shrugged, "I think you're right." He nodded. 

He frowned slightly, "Now I just have to make Dean see it that way."

\---------------------------------------

Jess laid on her bed staring at her phone.   
She had returned Sam's call hours ago. 'What was taking so long?'

'I mean, he called me first!' She thought.   
'Then he ignores my call?'

"Ugh." She groaned. 'Why did these things have to be so damn complicated?'

She couldn't stop thinking about him. 

One day! One day that's all it took! And she was already crazy for him! 

'Get a hold on yourself!' She demanded.

But she couldn't forget how happy she had been yesterday.   
Just talking to Sam had been amazing. 

He had seemed to understand her situation perfectly.   
But that was the whole point of the support group, wasn't it?

Still she couldn't get him, or for that matter that corny song he had sang to her, out of her head. 

She giggled to herself remembering the way he had kissed her. 

Just then she heard the front door of her house bang open, followed by the curses shouted at no one in particular. 

'Bad day.' She thought to herself, her expression changing to a deep frown.

She opened her bedroom door a crack to see her intoxicated father stumble through the open door. 

"JESSICA!" He shouted. 

She shut the door and locked it, her back against the door.

'Bad day.'

She jumped when something slammed into her door; her father's fist.   
She backed away from the door as her father continued to pound on it.

"JESSICA!" He screamed again, looking for someone to emit his alcohol induced rage upon. 

Jessica found herself in the corner of her room farthest from the door.   
She sank to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest. 

"It's okay Daddy," she said quietly, even though he couldn't hear her. 

As the screams continued, tears began to blur her vision and slide down her cheeks.

She hid her face against her knees.   
"It's okay Daddy." She whispered to herself. "I miss her too, it's okay."


	4. Chapter 4

When Sam finally returned Jessica's call the next day, it was after an entire night searching the apartment for his phone.

She picked up after the first ring.   
"Sam?" 

He sat on the edge of his bed smiling at the sound of her voice.   
"Good morning Jessica."

"Another one of those?" She laughed. "I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed your last message."

"Oh yea." Sam cringed. "Sorry-"

She interrupted him, "What is it with you and sorry, Sam Winchester?" 

He blushed, remembering what had happened the last time she had said that. 

He laughed, "I was thinking about you yesterday." 

"I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me." She teased. 

"Yeah? Oh! I somehow lost my phone under the couch sometime after I called you. I actually just found it." 

She giggled. 

"What?" He asked. 

"Nothing.." She finally said. "You're just so cute." 

"Cute?! C'mon I'm too macho for cute!" He teased. 

He heard her laugh again which made his smile widen. 

"So, macho man, do you have any plans today?" 

He frowned, "Yeah. I do actually, I have to work."   
"But we can go to dinner if you would like." he added quickly.

"That sounds perfect." 

"I'll call you later." He offered.

"Okay. Goodbye Sam." She smiled. 

"Bye Jess."

\---------------------------------------

Driving to work, Sam wondered what Cas had told Dean about Jess.   
Cas seemed on board with the idea of Sam dating again, but he wasn't sure how Dean would react.   
He had seemed pleased when they had talked on the phone before. The jokes included had seemed unforced.   
But Sam still worried that Dean wouldn't approve. 

\---------------------------------------

"Good morning Bobby." Sam walked past the old man bending over a car's engine. 

"Heya Sam," he looked up, "I've got your brother workin on a body repair in the back. Why don't you just go help him with that."

Sam nodded and proceeded to the back of the garage, his stomach doing flips.

 

Dean's legs were the only part of him visible as he worked under the car. 

Sam smirked. It was time to get Dean back for 'dropping' that old carburetor on his foot the week before. He still had a bruise. 

He crept into the room quietly, nearing the old junker his brother was working on. 

As soon as he reached the hood of the car he slammed his fist down on it as hard as he could. 

*thud* "DAMN IT! SAM!"   
Dean rolled out from under the car rubbing his forehead. 

He looked up at his little brother's laughing face.   
"You're an asshole." He sat up and pointed at him accusingly.

"Carburetor." He reminded his big brother who smiled when he remembered. 

"Oh yeah." 

"What do you want me to do?" Sam gestured towards the car. 

"Get to work on the broken windows. The replacements came in today." He pointed to the pile of boxes in front of the workbench. 

"And while you're doing that," he continued, "You can tell me about this 'Jessica'." 

Sam couldn't read Dean's face. 

"I figured Cas would have shared what I told him." 

"Well, he did," Dean shrugged, "but I think I would rather hear it from you."

Sam turned toward the stack of boxes and proceeded in tearing them open.   
"Well, her name is Jessica. As you know." He kept his back to Dean.   
"We had a great time together the other day and we are going out again to dinner tonight." 

"Hmmh." 

Sam turned to look at Dean who shrugged.

"You said you met her at support group right?" 

"Yea." Sam raised an eyebrow. 

"Why was she there?"

"The same reason I was. To get better." Knowing the real question his brother was asking, but avoiding it.

"What is she getting better from?" Dean pushed. There it was.

"Does it matter? She's sober now Dean." 

"If it doesn't matter why don't you just tell me. The past is the past." He hardened his stare, "Right Sammy?"

"What are you getting at, Dean?"  
He was becoming annoyed. 

"Nothing, nothing." Dean shook his head innocently. 

"Really? Because it sounds like you have something to say." Sam walked towards him. 

"I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into Sammy." Dean put up his hands. 

"No, I think YOU want to know what I'm getting into." 

"Do YOU even know Sam?" His brother rose to meet him. 

"Fine." Sam set his jaw. "Jessica was addicted to cocaine. Her father is a drunk who hasn't taken care of her since her mom walked out on them when she was a kid. Her aunt got her out of this, and now she still lives with her dad who is apparently getting better too. She's a wonderful girl, Dean. And you would love her if you gave her the chance."

Dean thought for a moment.   
"How about tonight?"

"What?" 

"My chance. If she's such a great girl, then I want to meet her." Dean insisted. 

"We've only just met!" Sam threw up his arms in frustration. 

"Then we'll just get the awkwardness of meeting the family over with ahead of schedule. Cas and I will meet you two for dinner. My treat." Dean said.

Sam pursed his lips. "Fine.", not seeing another way out of the situation. 

He turned and walked back over to the pile of boxes. Not talking to Dean again until they had finished working on the car. 

Dean clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder. "8 o'clock. The Lion's Head. We will see you there." 

Sam finally returned his smile. "8 o'clock." He repeated.

Dean dropped his hand and slapped his little brother on the ass. "Go get 'em tiger."

Sam rolled his eyes and reached in his pocket for his phone. 

As Dean walked away, Sam listened to it ring. 

"Hi Sam!" Jessica's voice sang. 

"Hey Jess," Sam smiled upon hearing her voice. Again. 

"Do you have the details worked out for tonight?" She asked. 

"Yeah, about that. There has been a slight change in plans." 

Silence on the other end as Jess worried he was ditching her.

"I was talking to my brother today and well..." He wondered how she would react.   
"We now have a reservation for four at the Lion's Head tonight at 8."

"So your brother and his date..?"

"Yea, him and Cas. Look, if you want to call it off, we could jus-".

"I can't wait." She interrupted. 

"Are you sure? Because I know this is soon and everything. You don't have to." 

"Sam!" She laughed, "I would love to meet them. You don't always have to worry so much." 

He smiled, "I'll pick you up at 7:30 then?" 

"I'll see you then. Goodbye Sam."

"Bye Jess, see you soon." 

\---------------------------------------

When Sam pulled up to Jessica's house he was extremely nervous. 

He remembered 'meeting the parents' had always been hard, but he had never had to meet the possibly violent alcoholic father of the girl he was seeing. 

He knocked on the door, trying to stand confidently. 

He heard the distant echo of high heels tapping on a wooden floor.   
A few moments later the door swung open and Jessica smiled up at him.

"Hi Sam." Even in heels, she still had to stand on her tip toes to kiss him. 

When they parted Sam backed up, taking her in. 

"You look gorgeous." He held both of her hands. 

She wore a fitted blue dress that flared slightly at the knee and fell just past them.   
Her blonde curls were fastened on top of her head with tiny silver pins that made her eyes sparkle.

"Always such a gentleman." She beamed. 

"Um is your father..?" Sam looked past her into the house. 

"Sleeping." Jess said quickly, "He's asleep." She looked at her feet. "He's been asleep all day." 

Sam cupped her chin and brought his lips to hers.   
After a soft kiss he said, "Than there's nothing keeping us here." 

He offered her his arm. "Shall we?" 

\---------------------------------------

"We have a reservation: Winchester?", Sam told the hostess. 

"Party of four?", asked the thin girl wearing too much makeup. 

"Yes, have the others arrived?", he asked as he and Jess were escorted through the busy restaurant. 

"No, you two are the first to arrive." She smiled as they reached their table. 

Sam pulled out Jessica's chair for her. 

"Would you like to order something to drink now? Or shall I wait to have your order taken until the rest of your party arrives?" 

"We'll wait thank you." Jessica said shortly when the hostess' gaze lingered for too long on Sam.

The woman with the painted face turned her attention to her.   
"Well then enjoy yourselves until I return." Her fake smile pulled too tightly across her lips. 

Sam sat down next to Jessica. 

"I'm so nervous to meet your family." She found his hand with hers. 

"Don't worry. They'll love you." Sam insisted. 

Jess smiled at him, squeezing his hand. 

"I'm nervous too you know." Sam said. 

"What do you have to be nervous about? They already like you!" Jess laughed. 

"It's not them I'm nervous about." 

Jess stared at him.

"I get nervous whenever I'm around you, Jess. I feel like I'll do something stupid and you won't want to see me anymore."

"Do you honestly think that I would be here right now if I cared about you being stupid?" She joked.   
But then she leaned in, kissing him on the cheek.   
"You've got nothing to worry about Sam Winchester, I'm not going anywhere." 

The couple smiled at each other for a moment. That is, until Sam thought of something and cracked up. 

"What?" Jess demanded. 

"No." Sam laughed. "You'll hate me!" He tried to quiet his laughter. 

"Tell me!" She shoved his shoulder. 

"No! Okay, okay. But you can't get mad at me!" He got his laughter under control. 

"Just say it!" 

"I guess, you'd say, what can make me feel this way.." He began to sing. 

"Oh my god, Sam." Jess threw up her arms laughing. 

"My girl! Talkin' bout my girl! My girl!" He finished grabbing her hand and kissing it. 

They were both giggling when Dean and Cas came up behind them.   
Dean clapped a hand on Sam's shoulder. 

Sam turned, "Oh," he stood, Jess following suit. 

"Um Dean," Sam gestured to his date, "this is Jessica. Jessica, my big brother Dean." 

Dean stuck out his hand but Jess pulled him in for a hug.   
"I'm sorry," she giggled, pulling away. "I just had to give you a hug after everything you have done for Sam." 

"And you must be Cas!" She turned and gave the dark haired man a hug before Dean could answer.   
"It's so good to meet you." 

It struck Sam that he hadn't mentioned that Cas was a man, or that his brother was gay. If she had been taken aback by Cas's gender, she hadn't shown it. 

"Nice to meet you too." Dean nodded. 

"Great to meet you." Cas agreed. 

"Well, why don't we all sit down." Sam suggested after a moment of awkwardly standing around.

The group got seated and a waitress took their drink orders. 

"I'll have a scotch on the rocks." Dean ordered. 

"Just whatever you have on tap.", requested Cas. 

"I'll have an iced tea please." Jessica said. 

"I'll have the same." Finished Sam.

Dean noticed that both his brother and Jessica had ordered nonalcoholic drinks.   
It wasn't uncommon for recovering addicts to go completely sober of all recreational substances. Still, he wasn't used to not being able to share a drink with his brother. 

"So Jessica," Cas broke yet another awkward silence, "Sam tells me you're going to school to become a teacher." 

Jess lit up. "Yeah. I've always wanted to be a teacher. I love kids and I think it would be a very fulfilling career for me." 

Dean remained silent, sitting back in his chair.   
'She seems nice enough.' He thought. But he was still slightly uneasy. 

"That's wonderful." Cas replied. 

"I know you work with Sam at a garage."Jess looked across the table to Dean. "How do you like that." 

Dean sat up slowly, resting his arms on the table. 

Sam warned him with his eyes when Dean opened his mouth with a sarcastic look on his face.

Dean saw this and closed his mouth. When he opened it again he said, "I enjoy working on old cars. I like my boss, the pay is good." He shrugged. "Can't complain." 

His eyes flitted over to Sam who had a relieved expression on his face. 

"Cas here has the fun job though," Dean nudged his boyfriend. 

"It's really not that fun," Cas argued but he laughed. 

"Cas is a veterinarian," Sam explained.   
"One of the best.", Dean added, now he was smiling. 

Cas smiled.  
"I love what I do." He looked across to Jess who smiled along with him. 

Sam couldn't believe how well everything was going. This was only the second time he had been out with Jess, but she was already comfortable meeting his family.   
It all seemed too good to be true. 

\---------------------------------------

The evening proceeded in lighthearted conversation.   
Dean found himself liking Jessica more and more. 

Sam noticed his brother's change in attitude. This left him feeling much more at ease and he was able to better enjoy the gathering. 

When the check came, Sam reached for it, but Dean snatched it up before he could get to it. 

"No way Sammy, I told you: My treat." 

"If you insist." Sam conceited. 

Dean paid for their meal and the foursome exited the restaurant. 

"Jessica, it was lovely to meet you." Dean initiated the hug this time. 

"I had a great time." Jess said then hugged Cas too. 

"Take care Jessica." Cas said. 

Dean moved to hug his brother.   
"I'm sorry I gave you a hard time. She's really great." He said softly. 

Releasing his brother he looked over at Jess who was still having an animated conversation with Cas. 

"Yeah." he smiled. "I know." 

\---------------------------------------

Driving Jess home, the couple sang along to the radio. 

Sam was surprised but pleased when Jessica knew all the words to his favorite songs on an oldies rock station. 

He learned that she loved the same bands that he did.   
When 'Somebody to Love' by Queen blared from the speakers, they sang at the top of their lungs. 

When the song ended they dissolved in laughter. A moment of silence followed.

"Good thing I already found someone." Jess said mostly to herself. 

Sam pulled up to her house and turned towards her.   
'Did she just..?' He thought. 

He was speechless. 

"Thank you for tonight Sam." Jessica leaned across the car and kissed her silent date. 

"Goodnight Sam Winchester." She opened the car door and walked up the steps to her house. 

Sam couldn't believe it. She loved him... 

But could he love her back?


	5. Chapter 5

As the weeks went on, Sam and Jessica continued to see each other. Sometimes including Dean and Cas, sometimes alone. 

However, they still had not moved their relationship to an intimately physical level. 

Neither Sam nor Jessica had brought up the night during which she had hinted that she loved Sam. 

\---------------------------------------

One day, Jessica came to visit Sam at his apartment.  
Sam had seen her pull up through his window and walked down the stairs to meet her. 

After a kiss hello, the (now official) couple began to climb the steps to the next floor. 

At the top of the stairs Sam cursed under his breath. 

Meg strolled toward him with a pout on her face. 

"Who's your friend Sam?" She blocked their path. 

"This is Jessica, my girlfriend. Jess, this is Meg." Sam rolled his eyes. 

Jess smiled and wiggled her fingers. 

"Oh." Meg pursed her lips.  
She grabbed Jess's arm, pulling her forward. 

"You know he was a druggie, right?" she asked, still loud enough for Sam to hear. 

"Oh yeah." Jess laughed. "I was a coke whore." She pulled herself away from Meg, who stood dumbfounded. 

"Well, it was nice to meet you Meg." Jess wrapped her arm around Sam's waist and pushed past her. 

"What a bitch!" She giggled when they were inside of his apartment.

Sam laughed and pulled her in for a kiss. "Jessica Moore, you are amazing." He kissed her again.

"And don't you forget it." She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her tiptoes, pulling in Sam for another long, sweet kiss. 

\---------------------------------------

Later, when Jessica was at home again, she lay on her bed. 

"I think I'm in love with you Sam Winchester." she said to her empty room. 

Though she did want to physically be with him, she loved that their relationship wasn't based around sex like her flings of the past. 

"My girl," she began to sing to herself. "Talkin bout my girl." She giggled.  
'That boy..', she thought. 

She opened her mouth to sing the next line but a violent cough wracked her body. 

Her eyes watered as the coughs ripped out of her lungs. 

She covered her mouth with her hand and continued to cough. 

By the time the fit ended, her cheeks were streaked with tears. 

'I'm okay, it's okay.' She thought to herself. 

But when she pulled her hand away from her mouth, the scarlet blood that had painted her hand taunted her with a silent, "No you're not."

\---------------------------------------

"I just want to see you again." Sam complained. 

Four days had passed since Jessica had last visited him, and he already missed her. 

"Lets go out tonight." she suggested. 

"Where do you want to go?"

She thought for a moment.  
"Lets just drive around and see where that gets us." 

"Sounds great." Sam smiled, "I'll pick you up at 7." 

"I can't wait." 

"Bye Jess." 

"See you soon, Sam." 

She hung up and hugged the phone to her chest. 

"Seven o'clock." She repeated. 

\---------------------------------------

When six thirty rolled around, Jessica was getting ready in her room.  
She heard her front door of her house slam, so she automatically locked her door. 

Glass crashed in the other room followed by the shouting of swears. 

She cringed as he yelled. 

A loud bang sounded on her door.  
"JESSICA!" 

'It's okay.', she thought to herself. 'He'll pass out after a few minutes, then Sam will be here shortly after that and I can forget about this for awhile.' 

The pounding of the door got louder. 

"JESSICA! JESSICA YOU OPEN THIS DOOR!" His words were slurred from drinking. 

She turned back to her dresser and pulled on a tank top and jeans, trying to ignore the pounding on her door. 

Suddenly, the pounding stopped. 

'Good,' she thought, 'It's over.' 

Just then she heard an enormous crash and the splintering of wood. 

She shrieked when she turned around to see her door hanging off of its hinges, her father in the doorway. 

"Jessica," he stumbled into her room, "why didn't you let me in?"

"Daddy I-I-", she stammered, backing away slowly. 

"Where are you going sweetheart?", her father slurred his words, using a whiskey bottle to point to her purse on her bed. 

"I'm going out with Sam, Daddy. Do you remember? Do you remember when I told you about Sam?", her hands fumbled behind her on the dresser, searching for something to protect herself with in case she needed to. She came up empty.

"Sam? I don't recall a Sam." He gave a drunken laugh and stumbled further into the room.

"Are you sleeping with this Sam, Jessica?" He moved towards her still, close enough now that she could smell the booze on his breath. 

"No Daddy.", she shook her head. "I promise, no." 

"YOU'RE LYING!", he suddenly roared, grabbing his daughter by the shoulders. 

"No Daddy! Please! I-"  
She cried when he struck her face.

"YOU LIAR! YOU ALWAYS LIE! LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER!" He screamed and threw his daughter to the ground. 

"PLEASE DADDY, NO!"  
Her head snapped to the side when his boot connected with her temple. 

She screamed and he jumped on top of her. 

"YOU LYING LITTLE WHORE!" He slapped her.  
"JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER? ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE ME TOO?" He balled his hand into a fist and slammed it against her cheek. 

Jessica cried out in pain.  
"DADD-" she was silenced by his hand on her throat. 

"YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE ME JESSICA. NOT LIKE YOUR WHORE MOTHER!" 

"I won't." She choked, clawing at his hand on her throat. 

Bringing his other hand to her throat, he didn't loosen his grip.  
His rage filled eyes burned into hers as her vision began to blur.

She kicked her legs underneath him, desperately trying to get free. Her body screamed with oxygen loss. She felt her movements slow. Her mind seemed to separate from the rest of her body. It screamed orders that couldn't be followed. Darkness blurred her father's face before her.

A sudden relief of pressure sent her crashing back into her body.  
She gasped as air refilled her lungs and it was her own hands now that she felt on her throat.

"I won't." she whispered.

"Why do you lie Jessica?  
She looked back up at her father, still pinning her to the hard floor.

"Now I have to hurt you again." He looked genuinely sad saying this, but proceeded in harming his daughter. 

Jessica tried to fight off her father, but his drunken rage paired with 150 pounds gave him the advantage. 

He hit his daughter again and again, shouting curses and hitting her harder when she shrieked. 

He watched as her eyes rolled back in her head. He slammed another blow against her temple.

She stopped moving.

"Jessica?" He looked at his unmoving daughter's bleeding face. 

He stood without another word and lumbered into the living room where he promptly collapsed in front of the still open front door.

\---------------------------------------

Sam pulled up to Jessica's house right at seven. He looked around and was surprised with how dark it was getting.  
'Days are getting shorter.', he thought, getting out of his car. 

As he neared the house, he could see that the front door stood open.

He quickened his pace and stopped when he reached the front steps. 

Mr. Moore was lying in a puddle of his own vomit, broken whiskey bottle beside him. 

Sam looked past him into the eerily quiet house. 

"Jess?", he called from the doorway. 

When no one answered his call, he looked down again at the unconscious man. 

"Is that..", he knelt down next to him and reached for a chubby hand, "blood?"

The broken whiskey bottle next to him suggested that the blood was his own, but Sam found no sign of any kind of wound on the man. 

"Oh no.", he breathed, coming to a realization, "Jess."

He sprang up and past the drunk.  
"Jess?" He ran further into the house.  
"Jessica!" He called turning down a hallway, nearly losing his footing as he ran.

Then he saw the door that had been knocked off its hinges at the end of the hallway.

"Jessica!", he cried, entering the room that was obviously hers. 

"Jess. No!" He rushed past her bed to where her unmoving legs were visible. 

He held his breath as he collapsed next to her on the floor. 

Her face was splattered with her own blood, eyes closed.

"Jessica? Jess can you hear me?"  
He rested a hand on her wrist, checking for a pulse. 

"Oh thank God." He felt her heartbeat going strong. 

He took her face gingerly in his hands.  
"Jess, Jessica baby.", he pleaded.  
"C'mon Jess, you have to wake up now."  
He lifted her into his arms, holding the small girl to his chest. 

"Please Baby, please Jess." He buried his head in her neck. 

"C'mon baby.", he whispered, his lips caressing the skin of her neck. 

"Sam?"

He felt Jess stir against his chest and raised his head to look her in the face. 

"I'm here baby, I'm here." He kissed her forehead and began to rise with her in his arms. 

"My dad," she protested. 

"It's okay Jess, I'm taking you away. We will go to the doctor's and the police and get him behind bars for what he did to you." 

"N-No!" It hurt to talk but Jess protested anyway. 

"No Sam, we can't go there! I can't let them take him to prison! Sammy we can't go there?" she pleaded, blood in her mouth garbling her words. 

"But he hurt you! I can't let him get away with this! Look what he did to you!" 

"No Sammy, just take me away."  
She the pain was causing her to loose consciousness again.  
"Just promise me, you won't take me there. They can't take him away.."  
She crumpled in Sam's arms.

"Okay Jess, I promise." Sam held her close as he rose and left the room, carrying her through the darkening house, taking her from it forever. 

\---------------------------------------

Sam carried her up the stairs to his apartment. Meg had gaped when she saw Jessica's state in his arms.  
But before she could say anything, Sam said, "Fuck off, Meg." And that was the last time he spoke to her. 

In his apartment, he laid Jessica down on his bed and covered her in blankets. 

He hated to see her like this. All he wanted was to take her to the hospital so they could clean her up properly, but he had promised her that he wouldn't. 

His hands shook as he thought of that disgusting man that had done this to her. He wanted to tear him apart. Why the hell would Jessica want to protect him now?

'It doesn't matter.', he thought to himself. "She will be safe here.", he said aloud. 

He sat on the edge of his bed for awhile, watching her chest rise and fall with each breath. 

'She was safe now, she had to be. She was going to be okay. If she wasn't...'  
At that moment Sam realized something.  
He couldn't finish that sentence.  
He couldn't finish because he couldn't picture what would happen if she wasn't alright. 

He stood and made his way to the head of the bed where he bent down and caressed her sleeping face.  
He kissed her cheek, blood and all, and whispered, "I love you Jessica Moore." 

He left the room and found himself lying on his too-small couch, where he fell asleep thinking of her.

\---------------------------------------

Sam woke up abruptly when he heard a cry coming from inside his apartment.  
Then everything came flooding back to him.  
"I'm coming Jess!"  
He stumbled through the darkness into his bedroom. 

"Sam!" Jessica was crying.

"I'm here Jess, he knelt beside his bed taking her hand. 

"Sam, will you hold me?" she pleaded. 

"Of course baby." He hesitated at first then climbed under the covers with her.  
He wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling her close. 

"Don't leave me Sam.", she whispered into his chest. 

"I'll never leave you Jessica."  
He stroked her hair.  
"And I'll never let anything happen to you again." he promised.

He felt her body relax as she fell asleep minutes later.  
He however, laid awake holding the woman he loved in his arms for a long time before joining her.

\---------------------------------------

She winced.

"Oh Jess, I'm sorry."  
Sam pulled back the cloth he was using to wipe her face. 

She shook her head, "It's alright. It just...hurts."

Her cheek and lower lip were swollen, a dark ring forming around her left eye.  
Her skin was a mixture of purples and greens from the bruises that had flowered overnight. 

They sat on his bed, Sam was doing his best to wipe away blood without hurting her, but not doing a very good job. 

She winced when he touched her split lip. 

"Almost done, baby."  
He carefully cleaned up the remainder of the blood around the cut. 

"There." He kissed her forehead gently. "All done." 

"Thank you Sam," she whispered. 

"Of course, Jess." 

"No." She looked up at him.  
"Thank you for not taking me to the hospital. Thank you for keeping him safe." 

"I promised you." He pursed his lips. "But you have to know that right now all I want to do is kill him for what he did to you." 

"You can't hurt him worse than he's already hurting." Jessica whispered. 

"What?"

She exhaled loudly.  
"When he was...when he was doing this," she gestured to her face, "he was going on about how I was just like my mother, how I was going to leave him too."

"Jessica," Sam began. 

"You don't understand, Sam. He did this because he loves me. In his own twisted way, he did this so I couldn't leave him. Because he loves me, Sam." She clenched her fists, tears welling in her eyes. 

"No." Sam said.  
"No Jessica, you don't do that to someone you love. If you love someone you protect them and keep them safe!"  
He held her hands.  
"And that's what I'm going to do for you. Because I love you Jessica Moore. I love you, and there is no way in hell that I'm going to let that bastard touch you again." 

Jessica suddenly pulled Sam into a tight hug.  
"Sam." She buried her face in the side of his neck, ignoring the pain that immediately flared on her skin.  
"Sam I love you too." 

Sam held her tightly to him like he was never going to let go. 

"Sam," Jessica pulled away slightly to face him.  
"Sam I want to be with you."

Sam remembered the panic he had felt near the end their first date.  
Now, in its place, there was only love for the woman in his arms. 

"I love you Jess."  
He lowered his mouth to hers slowly. They shared a long, soft kiss.  
Jessica didn't even feel the pain in her lip. 

Jessica positioned herself in front of Sam sitting on his lap as she continued to kiss him. 

She reached for the bottom of his t-shirt and began to pull it over his head.  
He raised his arms and helped her pull it off. 

She stared at the hard muscle that was Sam's chest and torso.  
She put her hands in his chest and he pulled her back to him for another sweet kiss. 

Sam moved his hands up on the skin of her waist, dragging her tank top with him. 

"You're so beautiful." he whispered and kissed her bare skin. 

"I love you Sam." Jessica pushed against him and they fell back onto the sheets. 

\---------------------------------------

The affair was nothing like either of them were used to. It was not like a one night stand or a casual hookup, it could only have been described as making love. 

\---------------------------------------

The next day, Sam told Jessica that she was moving in with him. 

"I don't want you there with him." He sat next to her on the couch and took her hand. 

"Please Jessica, I want you here with me." 

Jessica closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  
"Okay." she finally replied. "Okay."

 

Later that day, Sam drove across town to his now least favorite place in the world to pick up Jessica's belongings. 

He knocked on the door, hoping Mr. Moore would answer and give him a fight just so Sam could fight back. 

After a few moments, the door opened and the drunk stumbled into the light.  
"Waddaya want?" 

"I'm here for Jessica's things." Sam looked down at the pathetic man. 

"Who are you?" He swayed in the doorway, clearly intoxicated. 

"I'm Sam Winchester and I'm here for Jessica's belongings. Will you let me past?" Sam's expression was hard. He so badly wanted to knock this poor fool into next week. 

"Jessica? Where is my daughter? Is she here with you?" 

"Jessica is somewhere safe and away from you. Now will you let me pass?" He took a step closer to the door.  
"I'm going to bring Jessica her things and you can let me, or I will let myself in." 

Mr. Moore eyed the larger man. Even the drunkard noticed Sam's stature in comparison to his own. 

He spit and turned away from the door, leaving it open for Sam. 

Sam strode quickly down the hall he had been in all too recently to Jessica's bedroom. 

He found a suitcase in her closet and packed in as much clothing as he could fit.  
When that was full, he began filling smaller bags and purses with other belongings.  
The pictures on the wall, her hairbrush and comb, everything slowly disappeared from her room. 

He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat when he saw the flecks of red that decorated the floor. Did that bastard even remember what he had done?

When he had finished packing away everything but the furniture that would have to stay behind, he loaded himself up and took the first trip out to the car. 

Jessica's father eyed him from the couch where he was sprawled, wordless as his eyes followed Sam.

On his final trip back to his car, Sam stopped when Mr. Moore stood. 

He glared at Sam and opened his mouth as if to say something.  
But he closed it again and Sam took the opportunity to open his. 

"You daughter is a beautiful person. If you had appreciated her and everything she did for you, even a little, you might have been able to see her again. But if you ever even so much as come near her again, I swear to you, I will kill you where you stand."

The old man smirked.

Sam clenched a fist.  
"Don't believe me?"

Mr. Moore shook his head slowly.

Sam's lips twisted into a cruel smile.  
"The only reason you're still in one piece is because Jessica cares about you. There is nothing more in the world that I would like to do more that take you apart. So don't take the warning. Try me. You'd me doing me a favor."

Mr. Moore took a swig from the bottle in his hand. Swallowing, he shifted his puffy faced stare back up at Sam. 

Sam smiled at him again.  
"You're pathetic."  
He walked out of the door, got into his car, and didn't look back once.


	6. Chapter 6

During her recovery, (emotional and physical) Jessica took time off of work and completed her coursework online. 

She had asked Sam to put off telling his brother and Cas what had happened to her and that she was now living with him.

"Just until I'm completely better. I don't want Cas to see me like this." 

She and Cas had gotten very close during the time they spent together and Sam knew it would break his heart to see her like she was.

"Okay," he had promised.  
"But I'm going to have to tell him sooner than later." 

"Just a little while longer." she promised. 

But as it turned out, it came a lot sooner than expected. 

\---------------------------------------

One day after work, Dean decided to stop by and give his brother a visit.  
Ever since meeting Jessica, Sam had stopped going to rehab, and while he seemed to be doing better than ever, Dean just wanted to make sure. 

But Sam wasn't there when his brother arrived. He had gone out to the store. 

The absence of his brother's car in the lot made Dean decide that he would still go up and wait for Sam's return. 

 

Jessica was putting a snack together for herself in the kitchen when she heard someone at the front door. 

Hearing the key turn in the lock she was surprised that Sam was home so early. 

She was even more surprised when the man that came through the door was Dean. 

"Jess?" Dean quickly noticed the state her face was in. 

"Dean-" she began only to be smothered by a tight hug. 

"Jessica, what happened?" He pulled away and looked closely at her. "Are you alright? If Sam-" His face darkened.

"No! No, not Sam." She pushed herself from him. 

"Then who-what happened?" 

She looked down at his shoes, reluctant to explain. 

"If you are protecting Sam, Jessica, I swear-" he grabbed her by the shoulders. 

She shrugged him off.  
"Damn it Dean! It wasn't Sam okay? It was my father!" 

"What?" He was sure that Sam had told him that her father had been getting his drinking under control. 

"My father did this to me, Dean." she said quietly, dropping her gaze to the carpet.

"Jessica," he placed a hand on her shoulder.  
"How did this happen?"

"He got drunk and smashed through my door into my room." She clenched her jaw.  
"He was going off about how I was going to leave him just like my mother did. I promised him I wouldn't, and he called me a liar, and he hit me. He hit me until I blacked out."

Dean was horrified. She saw it in his face.

"I blacked out Dean." She sobbed and clung to him. She hated that she was putting this on him, but she needed to get it out.

"The next thing I remember was Sam holding me and begging me to wake up."

Dean wrapped his arms around her. 

"You haven't gone back there have you?" 

"No, no." She pulled away from their hug.  
"Sam asked me, or more told me, to move in with him. He went back for my stuff, but he said that my father was just passed out on the couch."

"Jessica, why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want anyone to know about this. I didn't want you, I don't want Cas, and I hate like hell that Sam had to save me from this!"  
Tears burned her eyes.

"This is such an ugly thing, Dean. I just want to move past this."

Suddenly anxiety caused her chest to tighten.  
"Dean please don't tell Cas. Please, it would break his heart to know what happened."  
She pushed her hands onto his chest.

Dean knew it was true. Cas loved Jess like a sister and he would hate to see her like this. 

"No, I mean, yes, you're right. I don't have to tell Cas. We don't have to tell Cas about this."

"But um," he sniffed, "Sam should know that I know. About all of this. And we can just tell Cas that you guys moved in together just normal circumstances. Okay?"

She nodded. 

"Do you want me to wait with you and we can tell Sam together?"

She nodded again.  
"Thank you, Dean." she almost whispered. 

Dean smiled at her.  
"Now um, I do have one more question."

"What?" She raised her eyebrows.

He gave her a smirk.  
"Are you sleeping with my brother?"

She looked startled at first, but then laughed. A real, honest laugh. 

"You're an ass."

He shrugged.  
"I'm just saying! I mean one bed, two of you." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Alone together."

"Ass! You're an A-S-S!"  
But then she put on a face of mock seriousness.  
"Would you like me to describe it to you?"

"Oh! Come on!" He squirmed.  
"Jess, oh! Too far!"  
He walked away from her.

"But you seemed so interested!" she followed close behind him.

"Oh! I wouldn't go in there!" She giggled when he neared the bedroom.  
"In there was phew! I mean-"

"Jessica! Shut the fuck up!"

Dean, of course, recognized the severity of the situation.  
She had been brutally beaten and by her own father!  
But, while this was true, Jessica needed to be able to move past it. 

He understood what she was feeling. She didn't want the people that she loved to be hurt because of what had happened. 

So, he tried to take the pressure off of the situation by making her laugh.  
But when Sam came home, he and Jess couldn't pretend anymore. 

\---------------------------------------

Sam nearly tripped into the apartment when his brother answered the door.

"Dean?" Sam looked past his brother to where Jess was standing behind him.  
"What are you doing here?" he finished, looking back at Dean.

"I was having a talk with Jess. C'mon in Sammy." 

After setting the grocery bags down, Dean led his brother to the couch and sat down, Jess taking the chair opposite them.

"Jess, what's going on?"  
Had she told Dean what happened? 

"I got a surprise visit from Dean today." Jess gave a weak laugh.

Sam looked questioningly at his older brother. 

Jessica continued, "I told him what happened. He knows, I told him everything."

"Well," he gulped, "I guess that takes care of one of you." 

"No." Jess and Dean said together.

"We um," Jess looked at Dean, "we decided that we aren't going to tell Cas."

"But we have to! You're living with me now, we can't exactly hide it."  
Sam protested.

"Well you're right." Dean said, receiving a confused look from Jessica.

"We can't hide the fact that you are living together, but we can hide why."  
Dean sighed.

"We can't tell Cas about this, Sam. I don't want him to know."  
Jess pleaded.

"So...what? We just tell him.. What?" Sam shook his head.

"We tell him that you guys love each other and moved in together!" Dean said exasperatedly.  
"Jesus Sammy, it's not like it wouldn't have happened eventually anyways." 

Sam smiled at Jess.  
"I guess that's true." 

She smiled back.  
"Pretty soon Sam, that's all this is going to be. My bruises will fade and we can forget about this. We don't need to tell Cas. Because we are just two people who love each other and moved in together because of it."

Sam and Jess stared at each other, smiling.

Dean looked between the couple and after a few moments clapped his hands together.

"Well, this is just getting awkward." He laughed.  
"Jess I'm going to have Sam walk me out to my car."  
He stood.

Jessica followed suit and put her arms around Dean.  
"Thank you." she whispered.

"Of course." He kissed her on the top on her head. 

When he lead Sam out the door and closed it behind them, he spoke.

"Sammy why didn't you tell me?"

Sam looked surprised.  
"You know now. And Jess didn't want me to. Yet." 

"So when were you planning on telling me?"  
Dean was frustrated.

"As soon as her face had healed completely." Sam promised. 

Dean frowned.  
"I don't like this, Sammy. I mean, I love Jess, and I'm so happy you guys found each other, but this is a huge thing! And you kept it from me! I just can't help but feel like.."  
He trailed off.

"Like what, Dean? Like I'm going off the deep end again?" Sam was surprised and getting angry.  
"Because that's just stupid. For once, I have someone outside of you that is close to me and you don't like it!"

"Don't be ridiculous Sam! I have every right to worry about you!" 

"Oh. Oh yeah, right. Because I'm such a head case. Because you can't trust me anymore even after all this time." 

"Damn it, Sam! Of course! Of course!" 

"What are you saying, Dean?"  
Sam whispered.

"I'm saying that I'm still worried about you Sammy." Dean said, but they both knew what he meant. 

"Please go." Sam turned away from his brother.

"I- ...okay." Dean turned and trudged down the stairs, leaving his brother alone.

"I'm trying my best!" Sam suddenly grabbed the handrail and yelled down to his brother. 

He heard the door behind him quickly open as Jessica rushed to see what had caused his outcry.

Dean looked up at his brother before getting in his car.  
"I know, Sam. And I'm worried that it's not enough."  
He opened the car door and was soon driving away. 

Sam watched his brother's car disappear around the corner and only then did he acknowledge the woman holding onto his arm.

"Sam, what-" Jessica began to ask.

"Please, Jess. Can you please go back inside?" He didn't look at her. 

She frowned.  
"No. What happened, Sam? You were both fine when you left!" 

Sam looked off into space, silent.  
"He doesn't trust me. He still doesn't trust me. After all this time I've been fine and he still-"

"He doesn't have to trust you Sam." 

He turned and looked down at Jess.

"What?" Had he heard her right?

"Sam, you did something bad. If Dean trusted you before, it's long gone."

"How can you say that Jessica?" His voice broke. She couldn't do this too.

"Sam, I've been there too. Hell, do you think Jody trusts me? No! That's why she wanted me at those meetings!"

Sam looked like a lost puppy; confused and sad.

"I'm not saying that he doesn't still love you. I'm not saying that at all! He still wants what's best for you and he's happy for you, but he may never fully trust you again."

Sam bit the inside of his cheek. He didn't want to hear this.

"Don't just push me out!" Jess shoved herself between him and the railing.  
"We've fucked up our lives, Sam. And we've fucked up the lives of the people who love us. I don't think we should just be able to expect them to get over this."

"That doesn't make it hurt any less." he whispered.

"Sam, I don't know if you've noticed, but you've hurt your brother worse than you're hurting right now."

"Why are you saying this?!" Sam almost yelled and backed away from her.

"Because you have to hear it, Sam! Because this isn't pretty. This life, it isn't what you wanted, but WE are making the best out of it. WE are putting the pieces back together. Not Dean, US!"

She was right. This wasn't up to Dean or Cas or anyone but himself.  
"You're right. I made this mess and this is me fixing it."

"No, this is us fixing our messes together. Right now, all it's adding up to is a bigger mess, but when it's all cleaned up, Sam, it's going to be fine." Jess held his hands with her smaller ones.  
"It's going to be fine." 

Sam nodded.  
"It's going to be fine." he repeated. 

They stood silently holding hands for awhile before Jess broke their silence with a giggle.

"What?" Why was she laughing now?

"I just saw that bitch Meg watching us through her curtains. Can we please go back inside, Sam?" She laughed again.

He returned her smile.  
"Lets go."

When the door to the apartment closed behind them, Jess spun around and kissed Sam.

"You do know I love you, right Sam?"

He kissed her back.

"I don't think you'll ever let me forget. And I'll do the same for you."


	7. Chapter 7

"We have an announcement to make." Sam put his hand in Jessica's knee.

They were in Dean and Cas's apartment, sitting in the living room.

Cas looked at them expectantly.

"Jessica and I have taken our relationship to the next step and moved in together." Sam smiled, happy to share the news with Cas.

The pair of blue eyes watching them widened in surprise.  
"Oh guys! That's fantastic!" Cas stood and leaned over to hug them both.

Dean faked surprise and congratulated his little brother, but Cas didn't notice his insincerity.

Jessica gave Cas a tight squeeze in return.  
"Thank you, Cas!"

Cas shoved his backside between Sam and Jess on the couch and put his arms around both their shoulders.  
"I'm so happy for you both!"  
He beamed.

Jessica worried slightly that his lingering gaze would find the small scar residing below her bottom lip, the only physical reminder of, what they were now calling, 'the bad day'. 

But his smile didn't waver as he kissed her on the cheek and turned to Sam to do the same.

Dean sat still in his chair, his fake smile becoming genuine as he watched his boyfriend's excitement.

He and Sam hadn't talked since their last encounter, excluding the phone call setting up this get together. 

While Sam's anger had been subdued by Jess, Dean hadn't been made aware.  
He wasn't exactly mad at Sam anymore, but he wasn't going to be the one to admit fault just to get back to their normal relationship.

So, he watched the display from a distance.  
But he joined in the laughter when Cas practically tackled Sam with another bear hug and soon allowed his guard to drop.

Drinks ensued (nonalcoholic of course for Sam and Jess) as afternoon turned to evening.

When Dean had gotten pretty buzzed, he loosened up considerably. 

Mostly that meant that Cas had to ward off Dean's attempts to maul him.

Cas was using both hands to push Dean from him as he talked to Sam and Jess.

Jess couldn't keep herself from laughing as Dean's persistence wasn't slowed.

"So my new assistant has really helped out and-" Cas stopped short and turned to Dean.

Cas kissed him once and said, "There you freak. Happy now?"  
He shoved Dean a little too hard and he fell off the couch laughing.

"Cas, Caaaas, Caaas!" Dean sang.

Jess burst out in laughter and Cas dragged a hand over his face.

"Alright guys, I think we had better call this goodnight before this one", he gestured to Dean who was trying to crawl back onto the couch, "embarrasses himself further."

Sam stood to hug Cas, Jess doing the same.

By the time Jess had pulled away from Cas, Dean hand pulled himself upright and forced his brother into a hug by collapsing against him.

"I'm so happy for you Sammy. I'm so happy you're happy."

Of course, Sam gave the beer credit for Dean's words, but this wasn't entirely true.  
Dean was happy for his brother, he was glad that he had Jess, he was relieved that his brother seemed to have gotten back in control. The alcohol just helped him express it.

Sam gave his brother a stiff hug and waited while Jess was trapped in Dean's arms.

"Bye Dean." Jess pulled away and made her way over to the door with Sam.

Just as they were crossing the threshold, they heard Dean mutter to Cas, "Get off me, you're drunk."

Cas had supported Dean and began to take him to lay down.

"Dean." Cas rolled his eyes.

\---------------------------------------

Driving home, Jess couldn't contain her happiness.

"Cas was so happy when we told him!"

"I know." Sam laughed. "He kissed me too, remember?"

"And the way he handles your brother." She laughed again.

Sam frowned.  
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. He can be really inconsiderate."

"What are you talking about?" Jess turned towards him.

Didn't she know?  
"I mean, you saw him. He was drunk off his ass!"

"So what?" Suddenly her eyes widened in realization.  
"Oh. No Sam, it's different with Dean."

"I just thought..." Sam began.

She shook her head.  
"It's different. My father was drinking for the wrong reasons. Hell, I don't really know that there are right reasons, but Dean, he doesn't drink for the wrong ones."

Sam nodded.

Jess suddenly laughed.  
"I think he's scarier when he's sober."

Sam smiled.  
"He is one hell of a dumbass when he's not."

They pulled into the apartment complex.

Jess lead the way back into their apartment.  
She leapt onto the couch from a few feet away, causing it to slide a couple inches across the floor.

Sam followed and took the spot next to her.

She settled so that her head was in his lap and her feet, Sam noticed, not quite reaching the arm of the couch.

"Sam," she looked up at him, "do you believe in life after death?"

He looked at her funny.  
"That's a strange question."

"I'm a strange girl. Indulge me."

He thought about it.  
"I think that there has to be something else out there. Like, it's hard to believe that once it's over, it's really over, you know?"

She shrugged.  
"I used to believe in all that stuff. God, angels, castle in the clouds, but I don't know anymore."

"Why not?"

"Well, I hate to sound like a downer, but I mean, there's just so much bad in the world that its hard to believe in something so good."

Sam frowned.  
"Well if you think about it, maybe that's not what it's all about."

"What do you mean?"

"If God or a god created all life on Earth, we've done a pretty good job of screwing it all up."

Jess sat up, confused expression on her face.

"I mean, we make species go extinct, we pollute, we over use, we don't do a great job of preserving the life that was created." he continued.

"Like, if I did all that and one stupid species was destroying it, I wouldn't be very happy. Would you?"

"I guess not." Jess agreed.

"So maybe, there is no plan or afterlife. Maybe whatever did all of this," Sam gestured vaguely, "did only that. Maybe they just started us off and they don't care or have a say in how it turns out."

"Then why start it off? Why do something like this and just 'see what happens'?" 

Sam smirked.  
"Maybe we're all just some science experiment for another giant species and our world is a lie!"

Jess shoved him.  
"Sam! I can never get a serious answer out of you!"

"Well you never really answered either!"

She thought for a second.  
"Maybe."

"Maybe?" Sam repeated.

Jess shrugged, "Hey, if we're all part if some experiment, why not?" She giggled.

Sam shoved her this time.  
"Jess," he leaned over her on the couch, "if we are all part of some experiment, I would be glad to end up with you in experiment land heaven." He kissed her.

"You're such a cornball!" Jess squealed and tried to squirm out from under him, causing them both to land on the floor.

Sam lay casually next to her as if they had not just fallen off of the couch.  
He stared up at the ceiling with a stupid smile on his face.

Jess rolled onto her side to face him.  
"Sam." 

He turned his head and their noses almost touched.  
"What?" he asked softly.

She looked into his light eyes.  
She smiled, "I don't know."

He smiled back then pulled her onto his chest.  
She lowered her lips to his, giving him a slow, gentle kiss.

"I'm happy, Jess." he whispered.

She laid her head on his chest.  
"I'm happy too, Sam."

He wrapped his arms around her.

After an eternity of silence, Jess gave a small laugh.

"We're so stupid, Sam."

She felt the rumbling in his chest when he laughed in response.

She began to push herself off of him, but he pulled her back down.

"No, lets just lay on the floor and be stupid for a little bit longer." 

Jess found herself smiling and buried her face in his shirt.

"Okay." she whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

"Jessica, you haven't seen him in a whole year."  
Jody Mills followed Jess around the apartment she and Sam shared.

Jess crossed her arms over her chest.  
"I don't want to see him." she said quietly.

Jody frowned. "Hun, we both know that isn't true."

Jess glared at an empty patch of the wall.

"Honey, it's your dad!"  
Jody reached out to her niece. 

Jess recoiled from her touch.  
"He is NOT my dad!"

Her aunt looked at though she had been slapped.

"He may be my father, but he stopped being my dad a long time ago." She didn't look sad, but she didn't look angry either.  
Jessica turned her back to her aunt.

She had expected Jody to reach out to her or try to comfort her, but nothing came.  
She turned back to her aunt, eyes widening at what she saw.

Jody stood in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around her middle.  
She shook as tears slid down her cheeks silently.

Jess took a step toward her, to comfort her, to do something to stop the crying.

She found herself hugging her aunt as she continued to shake.

"I'm sorry." she tried.

"No baby, no, you're right."  
Jody choked through tears.

"I'm sorry." her aunt continued.

"What?" Jess held her aunt at arms length.

"I'm so sorry baby girl. I should have helped you sooner."  
She started to cry again.  
"I should have taken you away from him as soon as it got bad. But I just let you stay there for years."

"How can you say that?" Jess's whisper was softened further by her own tears.  
"You DID save me Auntie. You're the reason I stopped using, you're the reason I met Sam, you're the reason I'm okay."

Jody shook her head.  
"I should have done more for you."

"It doesn't matter. You told me once that the past doesn't matter if your present doesn't reflect it. I'm not the same person I was then, and it's thanks to you."

"But your da-father..."

"He's not part of my present. Or my foreseeable future for that matter. I was able to get away. I found a way to get away."

Jody gave a watery smile.  
"I'm so proud of you Jessica. I'm so proud of you both."

Jess pulled her aunt into another tight hug.  
"Thank you, Auntie. Thank you for everything."

\---------------------------------------

She didn't quite know how to break the news to Sam.  
She was having trouble believing it herself.

The weird thing though, was that she was happy. It wasn't supposed to happen, but she was happy.

She hadn't even considered this as a possibility. Not by a long shot.

But there it was, it was positive.

"This is a miracle." she whispered to herself.

Cocaine users weren't supposed to be able to get pregnant.

But there it was, in her hand, and the test was positive.

\---------------------------------------

She walked into their apartment, trying to stay calm.  
She had to tell him in the perfect way.

But as soon as she saw him standing across the room, she practically flung herself at him.

"Oh Sam!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his.

"Um, hi Jess." Sam hugged her back but his expression displayed his confusion.

Jess found the face he made hilarious and couldn't contain her laughter.

"Oh Sam!" She cried again and kissed him...again.

"Jess, what's going on?" Sam was enjoying the attention, but this was just out of place.

She stared up at him and smiled.  
"Sam... Sam I love you!"

He started to open his mouth and respond but Jess interrupted.

"Sam, I'm pregnant!" she blurted.

She watched Sam's expression change from confused happiness to unreadable shock.

Her face fell.

He didn't say anything.

She felt tears burn behind her eyes.  
She hasn't thought of the possibility that he would be upset.

His shocked stare caused her chest to tighten.

"Say something, Sam."  
She dropped her arms from his neck.  
"Just, say something."

She closed her eyes trying to fight back tears. 'He's not happy...'

Suddenly she was practically suffocated by an embrace.

"Oh Jess, oh Jess, this is... This is... This is amazing."  
His voice cracked with emotion.

She let out an exhale of relief that sounded like a choked laugh.

She circled her arms around his waist.  
'He's happy! He's happy! Everything's going to be okay.'

"Jess, I thought... How...?"

"I know! Sam, I though so too, but.."  
She felt Sam tighten his hold on her.

"Jessica, were gunna have a baby!" 

"We're gunna have a baby."  
Jessica repeated.  
"How are we supposed to take care of a baby?"  
She suddenly pulled away from her boyfriend's tight grip.  
"How are we supposed to take care of a baby?"

"I don't know how to be a mom! I didn't even think I could be a mom!"

Jess started breathing quickly. Her heart felt like it would pound out of her chest.

Sam pushed her blonde curls out of her face.  
"Jess, we have time to figure it out. Don't you realize how incredible this is? We are so lucky to be able to have this."  
"Jessica, I love you so much."

Sam pulled her in for another tight hug. 

Jess rested her cheek on his chest.  
"Sam, I love you too."

Sam suddenly tensed.  
"We have to tell Dean and Cas!"

Jess found herself smiling again.  
"Call your brother and tell them to come over! Sam I want to tell them right now!"

Sam moved away from Jessica and grabbed his phone off of the counter.

Dean picked up on the first ring.  
"Sammy?"

"Dean, are you guys busy today?"  
He tried to keep his voice level.

"Umm, no actually. Why?"

"Do you guys want to come over?"

"Yeah, sounds good. What's up?"

Sam was practically squirming, "No reason. Jess and I were just talking about you guys."

"Oh. Okay can we be there at like 3?"

"Yeah, perfect. Just um... Yeah."  
Sam looked at the clock. It was almost 2, a whole hour to wait.

"See ya Sammy."

"Bye Dean."  
He heard a click and Dean had hung up.

Sam turned back to Jess.  
"I can't believe this is happening."

He pulled her into his arms again.

Jess listened to his heartbeat, it was pounding a mile a minute.

"I'm so happy Sam."

\---------------------------------------

Dean noticed his brother's smile as soon as he walked through the door.  
'Something's up.' he thought.

Cas followed him, but didn't seem to notice the uncharacteristic grin.

"Hi guys!" Sam greeted them both with a hug.

"Hey Sammy." Dean found Jessica as she entered the room.

"Hey Jess." He moved past his brother, who was busy greeting Cas, and hugged her. 

"Good to see you Dean."

She looked strangely happy too.  
'Why are they in such a good mood?' he wondered. 

After the hellos were taken care of, Sam asked Cas and Dean to sit down.

Jess sat across from them, Sam standing behind her.

"Okay, what's going on?"  
Dean finally asked.

Jess looked up at Sam who was no longer even trying to suppress his smile.

He nodded at her and she took a deep breath.

"Today I got some wonderful news." she began.

"Oh My God!" Cas jumped up.  
"You're..."

Jess covered her smile with her hand and nodded.  
Her eyes teared up from happiness and she said softly, "I'm pregnant."

Dean's jaw dropped.

Cas rushed over to Sam and Jess, pulling them both into a hug.  
"Oh my god, guys this is so wonderful!"

Sam gripped him tightly and said, "I know. We're so... This is so great."  
But he had seen Dean's reaction. What did it mean?

His answer came as soon as Cas pulled away. He was nearly tackled by his brother when he hugged him.  
"Sammy." 

Sam pulled away to look at him. Tears were threatening to fall from those big green eyes.

"Sammy." he said again.

Sam nodded at his brother. They didn't need the words.

Dean looked towards Jess who was being smothered by the crying Cas.

"Jessica, I-I'm so...this is..." Dean moved towards her.

Jess disentangled herself from Cas and hugged Dean.  
"You're so bad with words." she joked but she knew what he meant.

The hugging continued for a while and when everyone separated, all eyes were teary and all smiles were wide.

No one knew exactly what to say.  
But of course that didn't stop Dean.

"We all just going at stare at each other like idiots?"

Everyone broke out in laughter.

Jess looked over to Sam who was already beaming at her.

She felt herself getting ready to cry again.  
'I'm so lucky. I'm so happy.'  
she thought.

\--------------------------------------

Two months pregnant, everything was going well.

Sam took Jessica to every doctor's appointment and ultrasound.  
He loved hearing every update of the baby's progress.

Jess was terrified that her previous addiction would have harmed the baby somehow, but all was well. The baby was healthily growing.

\---------------------------------------

"I'm faaaat." Jess complained, raising her shirt up over her stomach. She was barely starting to show.

Sam walked over to where she was examining herself in the mirror and hugged her from behind.

"You're so beautiful." he murmured and kissed her shoulder.

He watched her smile in the mirror and she turned to him.

"Are you sure you don't want to find out the gender?"  
She tapped him on the nose.

"Yes! I want it to be a surprise! Something to look forward to." He laughed.

"Oh, looking forward to the baby itself isn't enough?"  
She laughed when he yanked on one of her curls.

"I can hardly wait to meet little Sam Jr. Or Samantha."

"Oh there is no way..."  
Jess began to protest but was silenced by a kiss.

She giggled and they broke apart.  
"It will be baby Luna or Justin."

Sam sighed.  
"We'll fight about this later."  
he promised.

"We'll we have 7 more months to do it!"

Sam knelt before her.  
He kissed her stomach and whispered.  
"You hear that? Seven more months and I'm going to be a Daddy."

Jess smiled down at him and smoothed his hair with her fingers.  
"Seven short months."


	9. Chapter 9

So how far along is the baby?"  
Bobby leaned against a piece of crap car he had Sam working on.

Sam emerged from under the hood and wiped some of the grime off of his face.

"Three and a half months." He beamed.

Bobby came as close to a smile as Sam had ever seen him.  
"And everything's good? There ain't no problems?"

"No, no Jess sees the doctor regularly and he says everything looks fine."

Bobby nodded and crossed his arms.  
"How did uh, your brother take the news?"

"Dean?" Sam reached back under the hood to continue his work.

"As far as I know he's the only brother you've got."  
Sam could practically hear Bobby rolling his eyes.

He laughed, causing a strange echo to sound from under the hood.  
"Right."  
"Dean was happy. At first I was worried, but he seemed so glad for us. Hell, it was the first time I'd seen him cry in awhile."

Bobby made a sound that Sam thought was a laugh, but sounded more like a cough.

"We'll good for you, boy."  
He straightened and began to walk away from the junker.

"Thanks Bobby."  
\---------------------------------------

Jess cringed as she picked up a frilly pink maternity blouse.  
She was getting closer and closer to needing the larger sizes.

Her belly swelled out in front of her, but up until now, looser items from her own wardrobe had sufficed.

A saleswoman came up beside her.  
"How we doin today hun?"

Jess gave a small smile.  
"Just fine thank you."

The woman's fake smile was too big for her face.  
"Oh how far along are we?"  
She exclaimed and placed a hand on Jessica's belly.

Jess pursed her lips and gave a small sigh.  
Since when had her stomach become public property? Why did strangers think it was okay to invade her personal space?

"About three and a half months now."  
She finally responded.

"We'll it's about time to get you something more comfortable."  
The saleswoman's gaze dropped to the blouse in her hand.  
"Oh! That one is just darling! One of my favorites, hun!"

Jess quickly put it down.  
"Oh, I, um, actually I was wondering if you had anything more...plain?"

The woman looked slightly put off.  
"Um, I can take a look in the back for you. Maybe we can find something you like."

"Thank you." Jess absentmindedly  
placed a hand on her stomach.

When the saleswoman walked away she let out a heavy sigh.

Why did everything have to make her so tired?!

She waited a few minutes for the woman to return, growing bored.

'I can find something for myself.'  
she concluded and turned to take a step in the other direction.

When she lifted her leg, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach.

She gave a little gasp of pain and nearly doubled over.

But the pain was quickly gone.

A yawn forced its way out of her lungs.  
"I just must be tired." she concluded and decided to leave the store.

'I guess I can wait a bit longer for this clothing torture.' she thought.

When the saleswoman came back empty handed, it didn't matter. Jess was nowhere to be seen.

\---------------------------------------

Jess was perched on the end of the couch when Sam came home.

"Did you find anything?"

Jess rolled her eyes and looked up at him sulkily.

"That bad, huh?"  
Sam laughed when she made a face.

"It looked like a circus exploded and they added price tags."

He sat next to where she was balanced on the arm of the couch.  
He threw an arm around her.

"I'll go with you next time." he promised.

"That won't make the clothes any less awful."

"No," he smiled, "but at least we can make fun of them together."

She gave an amused smile, shaking her head and yet again, rolling her eyes.

"Where did all this sass come from?" He nudged her with his shoulder.  
He gasped and looked at her with mock surprise.

"It's the baby isnt it?! We're gunna have a mega sass kid!"

Jess laughed.  
"Oh god, just so long as it doesn't get your sense of humor!"

Sam yanked her shoulders causing her to loose her balance and topple into his lap.

"Oh you jerk!" She giggled.

"Baby with your brain and my dastardly good looks," he shook his hair for emphasis, "it won't matter what else this kid is like."

"Don't you mean with my brain AND good looks plus your...."  
She trailed off.

"My what?"

She pressed a finger to her temple.  
"You know what? I can't think of anything?" She smirked.

Sam wrestled her off of his lap and into the couch.  
He hovered over her.

"How bout I show you some of my better qualities... just to give you an idea."  
His lips grazed her cheek as he spoke.

Jess giggled squirming beneath him.  
"Well I guess if I had some examples..."

He kissed the side of her neck below her jawline and left a trail of kisses back to her lips.

"That enough for you?" he asked suggestively.

"I think I might need a little more." Jess tried to suppress a smile, of course she failed.

He laughed and she felt the vibrations through his chest.

She ran her fingers through his hair and brought his face back down to hers.

He reached under her, placing his hand in the small of her back.  
He used this hand to support her body, pushing her closer to him.

Her hands pushed underneath his shirt, wandering his back.  
The tight muscles moved under her fingers as he rocked his body with hers.

That's when Sam's phone started ringing.

"Just ignore it." he whispered against her mouth.

"What if it's important?"  
Jess reached her arm out from under him to the table where his phone buzzed.

"It's Bobby." She held it up to him.

He groaned as he righted himself, rolling off of Jess.

"Hey Bobby." Jess heard him say.

Sam waited while The other man spoke.

"No. I'm home with Jess." he said finally.

She heard Bobby's muffled voice saying something obscene and couldn't help but giggle.

Sam smiled and shook his head.  
"You bastard. Yeah I'll leave right now."

Jess frowned.

"Yes Bobby! Okay! Holy Hell I said okay!"

Sam clicked a button and the conversation was over.

He looked at Jess, she cocked an eyebrow.

"I gotta go." He placed a hand in her knee.

She sighed.

"This guy upped the date for when he needs his car back so I gotta go in and help Bobby finish."

"Alright." She was only a little annoyed.

"I will be back..." he checked his watch, "at ten. Think you can stand three hours without me?"

She shrugged, the smiled.  
"Only if we can pick up where we left off."

Sam laughed and leaned over to kiss her.

"You can count on it."

She watched him leave the apartment.

She sighed and raised her shirt over her belly.  
"Just me and you buddy." 

She placed her hand on her stomach and suddenly the sharp pain was back.

She gasped, but the feeling passed.

"I really need some sleep."  
She stood and made her way to the bedroom, plopping down on the bed.

\---------------------------------------

Dean was already there with Bobby when Sam arrived.

Dean nodded in his general direction.  
"Hey. How are Jess and Dean Jr.?"

"They're both fine." He smiled.  
"But I think we've decided on Bobby Jr." he joked.

"No one's naming anyone anything unless we get this damn car fixed up." Bobby grumbled from under the hood.

"Sorry, Bobby." Sam pulled on his gray mechanic's jumpsuit over his clothes.

He grabbed his toolbox and proceeded in removing almost the entire underside of the car. 

Pipes and wires were spread around him when he checked his watch.  
Almost 9:30.

'Time flies.'

He rolled out from under the car to grab a smaller wrench when he heard his phone buzzing on the workbench.

'Jess?'  
He picked it up.  
"What's up, Jess?"

Silence.

"Jessica?" his brow furrowed in confusion.

The next thing he heard was the worst sound he would ever hear.

From the other end if the phone came a gut wrenching sob.

"Jessica!?"  
His chest tightened.

Her sobs sounded animalistic as they tore from her body.

"JESS!" he yelled.  
By now, both Bobby and Dean were forgetting their work to watch him.

The next sob came.  
"Saaaam!"

"Jessica! Please! What's wrong!?"

Her words were unintelligible, drowned out by the terrible sobs that made it sound as if her heart had ripped apart.

"Jessica!?" He was terrified.  
"Jessica! What's going on?!"  
Dean was behind him now, hand in his shoulder.

"There's so much blood Sam."  
He could still hear her crying uncontrollably.  
"Why is there so much blood?"

Sam's heart plummeted.

"Jessica! Jess I'm coming! I'm coming home! Everything is going to be fine! I'm coming Jess!"

He hung up the phone and began to sprint to the door.

"Sam!? Sam whats wrong?"  
Dean shouted after him.

"I have to get to her! I have to get to Jess, Dean!" 

Dean sprinted to catch up to him.

Sam practically threw himself into his car when he reached it.

Dean jumped in right as he was about to pull away.

"Sorry Bobby!" Dean yelled out the window.

The older man appeared outside of the garage.

"Just go ya idjits!!"

The car sped away.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam threw open the door.  
"Jess!"

Dean followed close behind him.

"Jess where are you?"  
Sam ran further into the apartment.

He nearly tripped through their bedroom doorway.

"Jess!" This felt all too familiar.

He scanned the room, his gaze falling on a streak of red on the bathroom door.

'Why is there so much blood?'  
Her voice played over in his head.

"Oh no."  
His voice caught in his throat.

He stepped closer to the slightly open door.

A beam of light from behind the door left a crack in the darkening room's color.

His hand shook as he reached for the knob.  
His fingertips barely pushed against it and the door slowly swung open.

"Oh my god." Tears threatened to escape from his eyes.

"Sam." her voice weakly sounded.

Jessica sat on the floor.  
Arms around her middle.  
Pool of blood widening around her.

"Sam." She sat there shaking, she didn't bring her eyes to his.

Sam stepped into the small room.  
"Jessica, Jess, what..?" His voice shook as badly as her body did.

She looked up at him.  
He almost wished she hadn't.

Her eyes were dead. Red from crying and lifeless.

"Jess we have to get you out of here. We have to go to the hospital."

Jess continued to shake. Not moving from her spot on the floor.

Sam bend down beside her.

She looked at him again.  
Bottom lip quivering, but her eyes weren't crying.

He tried to keep in a sob but failed.  
He reached his arms around her.

"C'mon Jess, it's time to go."  
He lifted her from the mess and held her shaking body to his chest.

She still didn't cry. 

Sam slowly stood and carried Jessica out of the bathroom.

Dean stood in the living room, Sam had forgotten he was there.

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat.  
"I'll drive you."

Sam nodded and followed Dean back out to the car, where he sat in the backseat, holding Jessica to himself tightly.

Dean listened from the front seat as his brother tried to sooth Jessica.

"It's going to be okay, baby. Don't worry Jessica."

She stared blankly out the car window.

"It's going to be okay. Jess, do you hear me? It's going to be okay." 

She turned her face to look at him, still no tears, just a scared expression on her face.

She continued to shake.

She opened her mouth.  
"Sam." she whispered.

"I'm here baby, I'm here Jess."  
He hugged her tighter.

She shook her head.  
"Sam." She repeated.

"It's okay Jess. It's all going to be okay."  
He tried to give her a smile.

"No." she whispered.  
"No, Sam." She shook her head again.  
"I don't feel the baby. Sam."  
her eyes widened in fear.  
"Sam, I think I lost the baby!"  
she cried.

She gave a choked sob and dissolved into tears.

"No Jess." Sam didn't want to believe it.

"My baby!" Jessica cried.  
"Sam! My baby!" 

She buried her face in his chest as the sobs wracked her body.

Sam hugged her closer.  
"No Jess. No, it's going to be okay." He too, was fighting back sobs.

Dean wanted to rip his ears off.  
His heart was torn to shreds hearing the people he loved so much hurting so badly.

His eyes burned as he lost his battle with the tears that now streaked his face and blurred his vision.  
'No.' He wiped his eyes and tried to concentrate on the road.  
'I have to get her there safely.'

Another knife forced its way into his chest when Jess nearly screamed in agony.

His brother's broken voice, meant to calm Jess, just twisted the blade in Dean's heart.

\--------------------------------------

Sam rushed after the gurney as they took Jessica away.

"Sir, please, you cannot go in there."  
An orderly tried to subdue him.

"You don't understand! I need to be with her!"  
Sam pushed past the smaller man.

"Sir! Security!" 

Dean pushed past the orderly to get to his brother.  
"Sammy."

He braced his body against Sam as he tried to push past.

"Sammy calm down. They're helping her now. C'mon Sam there's nothing you can do."  
He pushed his brother back.

"Dean, stop! Jess! The baby!"  
Sam's voice broke at the last word.

"I'm sorry Sammy." Dean held back tears.  
"Sammy c'mon, lets sit down."  
He grabbed hold of this brother's shirt. Still the dirty jumpsuit from the garage, now smeared with blood; her blood.

"Dean, stop! Why aren't you helping me?" Sam cried and wretched away from his brother.

"Sammy, please!" Dean found it harder to keep in his sobs.

Sam stared at the doors that Jess had disappeared behind and tears spilled down his cheeks.

He suddenly turned and dashed toward the exit.

"Sam!" Dean cried and rushed to follow him.

He dodged people as his brother neared the double doors.

When Dean finally escaped into the open night air, his brother's car was speeding from the lot.

"SAM!"

\---------------------------------------

He didn't know where he was going at first.  
But he knew how to get there.

Sam turned a sharp corner and the image came flooding back to him.

He didn't even know he remembered where she lived. Or if she even still lived there.

He didn't want to feel this anymore.  
He couldn't help her.  
He couldn't do anything but wait.  
He couldn't just sit there!  
He didn't want to feel this anymore.

When he got there, he ran from his car and pounded on the door.

"Please! Open up!"  
He continued to pound his fist against the door.

Finally it swung open.

She stood there for a moment in confusion, but then she recognized him.

"Sam?"

"Ruby."

\---------------------------------------

"Jody."  
Dean greeted the dark haired woman.

"Dean?" She looked confused.  
"What's happening? Where is Jess?"

"I don't know. They won't tell me anything."

"Where's Sam?"

"I-" he looked down, "I don't know."

"You don't know?! Dean, we need to find him!"

"I know! I know. I have someone looking for him. I just thought someone should stay here, in case."

Jody nodded.  
"Okay."  
She looked at Dean worriedly.  
"I just hope everything is okay."

Dean nodded, but he couldn't look at her.  
Everything didn't seem okay to him. 

\--------------------------------------

Cas knocked on Sam's apartment door.  
"Sam? Sam are you there?"

He sighed.  
He was so worried. All he wanted to do was see Jess, but he had to find Sam.

He leaned against the wall, trying to think of a place to look next.

He heard a door open and looked beside him.

"Are you looking for someone?" It was Meg.

"Yes." Cas straightened. "I'm looking for Sam Winchester. He lives here." He gestured to the door beside him.

"Oh." She frowned.

Cas raised his eyebrows.

"He um...he stumbled in like an hour ago. Practically fell on his face on the way up the stairs."

"Oh no." Cas turned towards the door again. 

'What have you done, Sam?'  
He jiggled the door handle.  
"Sam!" He cried. He shoved his shoulder against the door.

He back away and slammed into it again.  
The door swung open.

"What are you-" Meg cried, but Cas was already inside the apartment. 

"Oh Sam!" He cried.

Sam's enormous frame was slouched over the couch.  
His head hung back and his eyes were closed.

Cas rushed to his side.  
"What did you do?!" He shook Sam by the shoulders.

Sam's eyes slid open halfway.  
"Cas?"

"Sam!" Cas cried.  
He was so relieved. Sam was okay! Sam was-

Cas noticed a bead of blood on the inside the bend of Sam's arm.

"Oh my god." He looked at the table. 

"What did you do?" He practically screamed as he picked up an empty syringe.

Sam stared blankly at him.

Cas's bottom lip quivered with anger.  
Tears burned in his eyes.

"You bastard." he whispered.  
He threw the needle across the room.

"YOU BASTARD!" He screamed.

Sam shook his head, still staring at something only he could see.

Cas leaped at him.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"  
He screamed again and pinned Sam to the couch.

"HOW COULD YOU, SAM?!"  
His fingers curled into a fist.

Sam's gaze slid over to Cas.  
He looked suddenly confused.  
"Cas?"

Cas screamed and drove his fist against Sam's jaw.

Sam cried out in pain, his high was wearing off.

Cas threw another punch, connecting with his cheek.

Sam's head snapped to the side.  
"Cas!"

"Shut up! Shut up!"  
Cas yelled.

"How could you do this, Sam?! How could you do this to us!?"

Sam shoved Cas off of him.

The smaller man scrambled up off the floor and as Sam stood, Cas pinned him to the wall, arm pressed against his throat.

Normally, Sam would have been able to throw Cas across the room, but with the drug still wearing off, he was totally out of it.

Cas took the opportunity to scare the shit out of him.

"You need to get out of this now!"  
Cas's blue eyes blazed.

"You better be glad I found you and not your brother because this would break him!"

Sam blinked his eyes hard.  
"Dean?" 

Cas cried out and pushed his arm harder against Sam's throat.  
"Do you realize how hard it was-" his voice broke.  
"Do you realize how hard it was on us..." he took a deep breath.  
"..when you did this before?"

Sam was becoming more aware of the arm pressing into his throat.  
He shifted his shoulders in a sorry attempt to get free.

Cas slammed him back against the wall.  
"BUT THIS ISN'T ABOUT US ANYMORE!" 

"THIS IS ABOUT JESSICA! She NEEDS you Sam! What about her? You can't just RUN AWAY FROM THIS LIKE YOU DID BEFORE!"

Sam was hardly hearing him. All he realized was an attacker and his screams.  
He forced an arm between him and the attacker, then used to other to punch him squarely in the jaw.

Cas cried out and stumbled backward, falling over the coffee table and onto the floor.

Then Sam was on top of him.  
He struggled to keep Cas down.

"Sam! Sam! Get your head out of this!" Cas's eyes were wide with fear as he struggled against the larger man.

"Sam! Jess needs you!"

Sam's hand curled into a fist.

"JESSICA NEEDS YOU SAM!"  
Cas screamed, trying to break through the barrier the drug had created.

Sam raised his fist to hit Cas. 

"I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU IF YOU LEAVE HER! WE WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"

Sam slammed his fist against Cas's cheek.

Cas cried out in pain, but turned his aching face back to Sam.

"Jessica will never forgive you, Sam." he said softly.

He watched Sam's eyes soften slightly and quickly brought his knee up between his legs.

Sam shouted and rolled off of Cas.

"I'm sorry buddy, but I had to make sure you didn't knock me out."

Sam groaned beside him.

Cas stood and wiped blood from the corner if his mouth.

He turned and saw Sam shaking on the floor.

His heart ached, but he kept his voice firm and steady.

"Get up."

Sam looked up at him, tears in his reddened eyes.  
"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"Don't tell me. Tell Jess when you see her."

Sam sniffed and nodded.  
"I'm sorry I hit you."

Cas shrugged.  
"I got you worse than you got me."  
He walked toward the door.

Sam touched his face and winced.  
He jumped up and rushed to follow Cas out the door.

Meg stood watching, mouth hanging open.

Sam glared at her and turned away quickly.

He had to get to Jess.

\--------------------------------------

"You found him." Dean ran over to Sam and Cas when they entered the waiting room.

He bear hugged his little brother.

He pulled away and took in Sam's face.  
"What the hell happened?"

Cas pushed past them.  
"He fell down the stairs."

Dean narrowed his eyes and looked closely at his brother.

Before he could push further, Sam asked, "Jessica. Is she okay?"

Dean frowned.  
"We don't know. They aren't telling us anything." 

Sam ran a hand through his hair.  
He took a shaky deep breath.  
"I need to see her Dean."  
He sniffed, fighting to keep steady.

Dean nodded.  
He pulled his brother in for another hug.  
"I know, Sammy. I'm sorry this is happening."

Sam clung to his older brother and his his face in Dean's shoulder.  
Just like he used to do when he was little.

"Dean." He felt the tears in his eyes swimming.  
He let out a choked sound.  
"Dean, I'm so scared."

"Sammy." Dean reached a hand up and smoothed his brother's hair. His breaths were ragged.  
"I know. I know."

He wanted to promise Sam that everything would be okay.  
Just like when nightmares had frightened him as a kid.

But this was a different kind of nightmare, and it didn't look like they were ever going to wake up.

\-------------------------------------

Sam sat in the waiting room all night long.  
Cas paced.  
Dean sat next to Sam.  
Jody fell asleep crying.

\-------------------------------------

"Are you here for Jessica Moore?"  
A nurse approached the group.

"Is she alright?" Sam stood quickly.

The nurse purses her lips and ignored the question.

"She's very tired. Not all of you can go see her now. She keeps asking for 'Sam'?"

"That's me." his voice was breathy and worried.

"Please follow me." She turned to leave the waiting room.

Dean stood behind Sam and grabbed his shoulder.

He and Sam locked eyes.  
Dean didn't say anything, he just dropped his hand from Sam's shoulder and nodded.

Sam returned the small gesture and turned to follow the nurse.


	11. Chapter 11

Jessica couldn't stand being alone in that room.  
The sterile white walls and the terrible hospital smell were going to drive her crazy.  
She needed Sam with her, but she knew now that she was just being selfish. She knew that she didn't want Sam to hurt as badly as he would when they told him...

So when he walked through the door, she willed the tears to stay inside.

The nurse stopped in the doorway and Sam followed close behind.

Sam nearly plowed down the nurse as he scrambled over to Jessica.

"Oh baby!" He knelt beside her bed.

She didn't say anything as she reached for him. She couldn't say anything without crying. She couldn't let him see her cry anymore.

All Sam wanted to do was lift her into his arms and hold her tight, but on that hospital bed with tubes sticking out everywhere, she looked so fragile.

He slowly slid his arms around her. "Jessica. Jess I was so scared."

She bit her cheeks and cursed herself for the tears that threatened to escape.  
"I'm sorry Sam." she whispered.

"What?" He separated from her, but held her small hand in his.  
"No, no Jess, I'm sorry. I should have been here sooner."

Jessica took a deep breath.  
Sam heard the catch in her throat.

"Jess, baby, it's okay now. It's going to be okay."  
He smiled at her, placing another hand over hers.

She bit her cheek harder and tasted blood.  
She closed her eyes.  
"No, Sam."

"What?" He shook his head.  
"No, you're okay now. Everything's okay!"

"No, Sam. Listen to me."  
She felt as though her heart was being pulled apart.

She touched his face with her free hand.  
"Sam, I'm not okay."

Sam grabbed the hand on his face and held it there.  
"Jess, don't say that! Don't you say that! You're going to be just fine!"

"You don't believe me?" Jess sniffed, the cannula in her nose bothering her.  
"Ask her."

Sam turned to see the nurse still standing in the doorway.

"Sam, we need to let Jessica rest now. Please, if you will just come with me."  
The nurse gestured towards the hallway.

"No." Sam stood. "Are you crazy? No! I'm not leaving her now!"

"Sam, please. She needs her rest. I will explain everything."

He looked down at Jess. She gave him a small forced smile.

"Please go, Sam. I don't want to hear what she has to say again."

"No, Jess."

"Sam go!" she pulled her hand from his.  
"Go."

He looked between Jessica and the nurse, noticing for the first time that her name tag read, "Anna".

He turned back to Jess and bent down.  
He kissed her softly on the cheek, then turned to follow Anna. 

 

Once they were in the hallway, Anna turned to Sam. 

"Sam..." she began.

"What's wrong with her."  
He didn't want any of this beating around the bush shit.

Anna looked startled for a moment, but quickly recovered.

"Jessica...she..." Anna wished Sam would stop staring daggers at her.

"Please." Sam closed his eyes.  
"Please, just tell me." he pleaded.

Anna stood straighter.  
"By the time Jessica had gotten to us, she had lost a lot of blood."

Sam absentmindedly brushed a hand against his chest, where the stain had been on the dirty jumpsuit before he had practically ripped it off.

He swallowed.

Anna continued, "After stabilizing her condition and completing a blood transfusion, we performed an ultrasound."

The look on her face gave it away.

Sam's mouth opened slightly, his breaths came quickly and shakily.  
He clenched his jaw and reached behind him for something to hold onto.  
He found himself falling into a chair and made a small sound. 

Anna cringed when she heard it, the small gasp, his heart breaking.

"It was too late to save him."

Sam looked up. "Him?" It's a boy! It was a boy... What had Jessica wanted? Justin? Not that it mattered now...

Anna nodded. "I'm sorry."

She didn't look sorry. She looked perfectly calm to him.

"But, Jessica, you stabilized her?"  
He asked hopefully.

"Yes." 

Sam stood.

Anna placed a hand on his chest.  
"Sam. Sam please sit back down."

He shook his head.  
"But she's stable, she's fine, I have to go see her again." he said, voice small.

Anna bit her lip.  
"Please sit back down, Sam."

He sank slowly back into the chair.  
He swallowed hard. The tightness in his throat nearly choking him.

"Jessica was informed that the baby was lost and was understandably upset. However her crying brought on fits of coughing."

Sam narrowed his eyes.

"It seems that Jessica is, has been, suffering from severe lung damage."

Tears welled in his eyes.  
"How..? What does this mean?"

Anna pursed her lips.  
"Normally, the symptoms she has shown would have been classified as pneumonia."

Sam's eyes widened.  
"Pneumonia. That's okay. You can- you can cure that can't you?"

Anna broke eye contact.  
"Normally, yes. But because of her miscarriage, the signs were pointing at something else."

She took a deep breath.  
"It seems that Jessica had a narcotics history. We asked her and she specified that it was with cocaine."

"Yes, I knew about that! What does that have to do with anything! Just tell me what's going on!" He hit his thighs with his fists.  
"Please!"

The nurse shook her head.  
"The use of cocaine has many long term effects. It's a miracle that she was able to get pregnant at all, let alone carry the child for as long as she did. It was only a matter of time before she lost it. Had her doctor known about her usage...well there isn't really much that could have been done."

Sam covered his face with his hands.  
"Oh god." His voice hitched.  
He didn't want to hear any more if this. He breathed deeply, letting out a quiet sob.

"The lung damage is another long term effect of the drug. Sam," she looked down at him with sad eyes, "Jessica is very sick. She may not recover."

Sam bit down in his hand to stifle the scream that erupted from his body.  
"You can't tell me that."  
He stood and grabbed her by the shoulders.  
"You cannot tell me that the woman I love is dying!"

She shook him off, "Lungs can't repair themselves and we don't have the ability to repair them at this point. There's nothing we can do but hope."

Sam backed away from her.  
"You find something!" He covered his mouth with his hand.  
"YOU FIND SOMETHING AND YOU FIX HER!" 

He backed into the wall of the hallway. No one stopped to look or even seemed startled at his outburst.  
How could this be normal? How could they be okay with people dying? With HER dying?

Anna looked at him blankly.  
"I'm sorry-"

"NO YOUR NOT! YOU FIX HER!"  
He pulled at his hair.  
"You fix her!" He crumpled, falling to the floor with a wail.

He pounded his fist against the floor.

Suddenly strong hands were pulling him from the floor.  
He thought it was security, they had come to take him away.  
But he couldn't let them do that. He had to see Jess again! He had to be with her!

"No!" He cried and wrenched out if the grip.

"Sammy! Sammy it's me!"

He turned and saw his brother standing behind him with a terrified expression on his face.

"Dean." Sam breathed, then dissolved into tears, collapsing again against his brother.

\---------------------------------------

Dean cried when Sam told him.  
Cas cried harder.  
Jody was the worst.  
Dean drove her home, she wasn't ready to see Jess yet.

\---------------------------------------

As soon as Cas saw her, he dissolved into tears.  
He sat next to her on the small bed.  
"Jessica, I'm so sorry sweetheart."

Jess held his hand.  
"I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to be my normal Cas. Please don't cry for me, please stop crying."  
She stroked his dark hair.

Cas sat with his head in her lap, holding her hand silently. The tears still rolled down his cheeks. 

Dean came forward.  
"Hi Jess." He kissed her on the cheek.

She smiled up at him.  
"Hi Dean. Thank you for being here."

"Of course, babe." He screwed up his face to keep from crying. 

Jess took her hand off of Cas and reached out to Dean.

"I'm sorry you guys have to deal with all of this."  
She still hadn't shed a tear.

Cas let out a strangled sound and his sobs came louder.

Dean felt a tear slide down his cheek.  
"We love you, Jess. Don't be sorry." He squeezed her hand.

Cas sat up and wrapped his arms around her, careful to avoid the various tubes and machinery around her.

"We love you so much Jessica. Please get better."  
He pressed his cheek against hers.

"Cas." She shook her head.

"Don't...don't you give up." He choked.

She let out a shaky breath.  
"No Cas, I'm not giving up."

\---------------------------------------

She had spent eight nights in the hospital.  
Sam had spent all except the first night in the chair next to her bed.

Jessica still hasn't cried. She couldn't do that to him. She couldn't do that to Sam.

 

They lay together on her small hospital bed. She rested her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her.

He had brought her iPod for her. He had one earbud in, she had the other.

They didn't sing to the songs like they used to. They didn't even talk. They didn't even move.  
They just laid together on that small bed, not needing to say anything.

When the song 'TNT' ended, another song began.

The familiar beat pulsed through the earpieces.

Sam took a deep breath and broke their silence.

As the words began, Sam sang them softly.

"I've got sunshine on a cloudy day." He practically whispered.

He felt his eyes begin to water.  
"When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May."

His voice cracked and his breathing became shaky.  
"I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My girl."

He felt Jessica stir.  
"My girl." she sang quietly.

Sam smiled through the tears that had begun to fall.

"Talkin bout my girl. My girl." they sang together.

"I've got soooo much honey, that the bees envy me."

When Sam sang the next verse, he couldn't hear Jessica.

"I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees."

He wrapped his arms tighter around her when she began to shake.

He rested his chin on the top of her head and sang quietly to her.  
"Well I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My girl. My girl. Talkin bout my girl. My girl." 

By now her sobs were loud enough to hear.

"Sam. Sam I'm so tired."  
She choked.

"It's okay baby. I'll be here when you wake up." He whispered, pulling the earbuds out of their ears.

"No, Sam. I get more tired everyday. It's harder to breathe everyday."

His shirt was now damp from her tears.  
He held her closer.

"Jessica. I love you, Jessica. Please don't give up on me. Please don't give up." 

Jess choked on her next words.  
"I'm so scared."  
She suddenly went rigid, her body stiffening against his.

A nasty cough tore from her chest, bringing a burning pain with it.  
She gasped for breath as another cough came, followed by a splatter of blood across the white sheet.

"Jess! Jess! Help! Someone!"  
Sam didn't know what to do.

She wiped her mouth.  
"No." She cleared her throat.  
"I'm okay." 

She suddenly turned to him and started laughing.

Her body shook as the laughs kept coming.

"Jess? What's so funny? Are you okay?"  
Sam's gentle hands rested on her back.

She fought for control of herself, but continued to laugh.  
She choked out words between giggles.  
"I'm okay?"  
She kept laughing.  
"Am I okay? I'm not okay!"  
She wiped away the tears that were caused by the laughter.  
"I'm dying! I'm dying! I'm nowhere near okay!"

Sam looked at her, horrified.  
He grabbed her by the wrists.  
"Stop!"

He touched her sallow face.  
"Stop this! Jessica! Stop saying that!"

He started crying harder.  
"Please! Stop saying that!"

She looked at him with an amused expression on her shadowed face.  
"Why? It's true! I'm not okay, I'll be dead soon!"

Sam gaped at her.  
"Please stop, Jess."

She began to laugh again.

Anna, the nurse, rushed into the room. She gave Jess a once over and declared, "She's hysterical. She needs to be sedated."

She rushed beside Jessica to a machine with an IV attached to it and pressed a sequence of buttons.

Jess's laughter slowed considerably after a moment and she sank back into Sam's arms.

"Maybe I'll just die right now." Jess gave a faint smile and laid her head on his shoulder, eyes closing slowly.

Sam stared in shock at the woman in his arms. 

"She's sick honey. She doesn't know what she's saying." The nurse tried.

Sam wanted to snap back, "Last time I checked, she didn't think with her lungs.", but he just nodded. 

"Why don't you go home hun. You should go clean up, worry about yourself for ten minutes."  
Anna suggested. 

Sam looked down at the sleeping blonde. 

"She'll be asleep for hours. If that makes any difference."

Sam scratched at the scruff on his chin.  
"Yeah. You're right. Let me just call my brother. I don't want her to be alone. Just in case she wakes up."

Anna nodded.  
"No problem hun."

\--------------------------------------

Cas stayed with Jess while Sam went home for a few hours.

He showered, shaved, and collapsed on the bed.  
When he woke up, it was the next morning.

"Oh, Jess!" He scrambled up and dashed out the door.

But when he got back to the hospital, she was asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Jessica's eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning Jess." Sam squeezed her hand.

Jessica smiled in response.  
She hadn't talked much those past couple of days. Her breathing had become more and more labored. The oxygen being fed into her nostrils hardly helped.

Sam kissed her on the cheek.  
"Jody came to see you again. You were sleeping, but she talked to you for hours." 

He gave a small laugh.  
"She talked to me too. Told me how cute you were when you were little."

Jess inhaled deeply and her exhale sounded almost like a laugh.

Sam rubbed her arm.  
"She told me about taking you camping. Just you and her by that little creek in the woods."  
He laughed again.  
"She even told me how you stripped off your little clothes and danced naked in the river."

Jess smiled and shook her head.  
"Oh god." she whispered.

Her voice was so small that Sam could hardly hear her. He longed to hear the voice of the girl he had met at that meeting.  
He wanted to hear her get lost in a story. He wanted to be able to listen to her tease him. To sing another song together. 

He looked down at her laying in that bed. All he heard now was her labored breathing and the beep of the heart monitor. Now it was she who listened to him as he tried to help her get lost in a story. Now he tried to tease her. He had finished the song alone.

He closed his eyes.  
"I love you Jessica."

She frowned when she saw the way he composed himself for her. So that she could hardly see the tears in his eyes.

"You say that.." she inhaled "like it's a bad thing." she exhaled.

"No. No... I just..." He shook his head.  
"I just do. Okay? I just don't want you to ever forget."

She looked away from his sad eyes.

She felt his hands on her arm again.

"It's just.. when you get better.."

"Sam." she protested, turning back to him.

"Please." He held a hand up.  
"Please just let me say this."

He felt the lump in his throat growing.

"When you get better," he said softly, "I just want us to be able to move past this. Just like we did before."

Jess shook her head slowly, eyes closed.

"Jessica, please." Sam's bottom lip quivered.  
"After this is behind us, I just want you to remember that I love you."

"Sam, stop pretending." Jess bit her lower lip to keep from crying.  
"Please."

The tears fell freely down his face now.  
"Jess, don't say that."

"Why not? We both know its true. We've never had a sugar coated life before. Why should it start now?"  
She sniffed and wiped away a tear.

Sam made a small, pained sound. His words were muddled by crying.  
"Because you don't deserve this! You don't deserve any of this!  
You should have so much more, Jess." 

She reached out to him. She wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Jessica." 

She almost couldn't hear him. It was barely a whisper, covered by a sob.

"No, Sam."  
She was finding it exceedingly harder to fill her lungs. But what else was new?

"I promised you, and I'm sorry."  
His head fell to his hands as he let out another sob.  
"I promised you that I would never let anything happen to you ever again!"  
He banged his fist against the nightstand.

Jess was silent.

Sam looked up again, his eyes red rimmed.

Jess lay all the way back in the bed. Her entire body shaking as she cried.

Why did this have to be happening?

Sam reached for her.  
"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry Jess." 

'But it's all my fault. It's all my fault.' she thought. Her lungs burned as the sobs slowed her breathing. She couldn't say it to him. She couldn't even try to make him feel better. 

So she cried.

Sam climbed onto the bed with her.  
He rested her head on his chest and held both of her hands.

The sounds of despair coming from their bodies didn't cease until they both fell asleep crying.

They hadn't really gotten so sleep any other way lately.

\---------------------------------------

She just kind of stopped breathing. 

Sam was in the room when it happened.

He was sitting beside her as she slept. Her hand in his.

He had just begun to drift off into a restless sleep when the sound made him jump.

His head snapped up as Jessica writhed on the bed.  
She made a sound like a fish out of water; gasping for air.

"HELP! ANNA! SOMEBODY!"  
He cried.

"Jess! Jessica! You stay with me!" He gripped her hand tightly.  
"Jess don't you leave me!"

Anna rushed into the room behind the doctor.

"Sam you need to leave." She grabbed ahold of this arm.

Sam shook his head.  
"No! Jess!"  
He turned to Anna.  
"I can't leave her! She can't leave me!"

Two large men entered the room.  
'Security'

"I'm sorry, Sam."

The men grabbed him and practically dragged him out if the room!

Sam frantically tried to escape.  
"Jessica!" he screamed.  
He craned his neck to look at the now unmoving body on the bed.  
"Jessica don't you leave me! Jess! Do you hear me? Don't leave me! I love you! Don't you leave me!"

They pulled him out of the room.

But not soon enough.  
He still heard it.  
When she flatlined.

\---------------------------------------

Sam didn't need to hear it when the doctor emerged from the room minutes later. 

But if course, the Doctor told him anyway.

"She's gone, son."  
He placed a hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam didn't feel sad anymore. All he felt was the pulsing in his head, in his hands.

He stood slowly.

"Where are you going?" Anna appeared from nowhere.

She didn't even try to console him. They didn't care. No one cared. She was gone. Why didn't they care?

He looked blankly at her.  
"I need to make some calls."  
He turned and trudged down the dark hallway.

The waiting room was busier than it had been when he first came here. Or maybe he just hadn't noticed all the people before.  
Did they all have someone in there? We're they going to die too? Probably not. And no one would care if they did.

Sam stumbled to an empty corner of the room.

He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Dean's number.

The déjà vu hit him hard and he laughed hysterically.

The first day he met her. Avoiding the crowd in a corner to call Dean.  
This call would be about her too. Just like the very first one.

"Sammy?" Dean's voice was frantic.

Sam stopped laughing.  
"She left me, Dean."

He heard Dean cry out. Then Cas.

"She left me." He repeated.

He hung up.


	13. Chapter 13

Jody asked Sam to speak at the funeral. He refused. 

This was the last place he wanted to be. Everyone there was a stranger to him. Some distended family member that hadn't been there for her when she needed them. He didn't want to share her with them. He wanted those memories for himself.

Sam stood in a corner, observing.  
Dean and Cas weren't there yet.  
The only other person he knew there was Jody and she was surrounded by the weeping strangers who he had no interest in meeting.

He scanned the room with narrowed eyes, hands clasped in front of him.

"Sam?" A voice sounded behind him.

He spun around to face the man.

"What are you doing here?" He hoped the man could hear the hate packed into his words.

The man frowned.  
"She was my daughter, boy."

Sam was disgusted.  
"I think you should walk back out that door." His shoulders tensed, he wanted Mr. Moore to feel threatened.

Mr. Moore shook his head.  
"I'm not going to do that."  
He began to reach out to place a hand on Sam's shoulder, looked at the hate filled stare, and decided against it, retracting his gesture.

Sam turned away from him.  
"I have nothing more to say to you."

Mr. Moore cleared his throat.  
"Good. Because I just want you to listen."

Sam didn't make any sign that he had heard him.

"Sam, I know what you think of me. Hell, you've threatened to kill me. I know I deserve it. I know that I did things that cannot be forgiven. But God so help me, I'm a changed man." 

Sam clenched his jaw.  
"I need you to walk away from me now."

Mr. Moore frowned.  
"And I will. Just please let me finish."

Sam remained motionless.

"Sam I'm sorry. I know that saying it doesn't make anything better. Hell, maybe it makes it worse. But I am, I truly, truly am." His voice got quieter as he progressed.  
"But that's not why I came over to talk to you." He sniffed.  
"I came to say thank you, Sam."

Sam turned back to him.  
"What?"  
He saw that Mr. Moore had begun to cry.

"Thank you for being there for her when I wasn't. Thank you for taking her away from me."

He turned away from Sam.  
Sam didn't stop him.  
He had nothing else to say.

\-------------------------------------

"I want to speak." Sam grabbed Jody by the elbow, turning her to him.  
"Please let me speak."

Jody gave a teary smile.  
"Thank you, Sam."

Everyone was seated. Jody was just about to talk when Sam had stopped her. He would be the second, and last, speaker.

He sat in the front row as Jody began.

"Hi everyone." She gave a small wave and attempted a smile.

"I'm Jody, I'm- I was Jessica's aunt." Sam saw her tear up at her mistake.

"I'm so sorry you all had to be here today. But thank you all for coming." She wasn't going to last much longer. The tears were already visible in her eyes.

"My niece was a wonderful person. *sniff* She went through a lot in her 21 years. I wish she could have had more time to go through better things."  
She covered her hand with her mouth and muffled a sob.

Sam heard Cas moan in the back of the room. He imagined Dean holding Cas's head to his shoulder and trying to comfort him, even though he was crying too.

"I guess I didn't get to know my niece as well as I would have liked to, but I know someone who did." Her bottom lip quivered as she made eye contact.

"Sam, honey, it's all yours." She made her way over to him as he stood.  
He wrapped his arms around her and held her head to his chest while she cried for a moment, then she separated. She reached up and brushed the hair out if his eyes, smiling through the pain.  
"Make her proud, sweetie."

Sam took a deep breath as he made his way to the head of the room. He was almost regretting this. But he had to do it.

"Hi, I'm Sam." He tried a smile.  
"I was uh, Jessica's boyfriend." He felt a lump forming in his throat.  
"I met Jessica at a rehab center. I guess that sounds kinda bad... But um, I'm so glad our paths crossed there."  
He smiled to himself. He really was....  
"She was such a strong person. She never really did anything halfway. It was all or nothing really with everything." He gave an inaudible laugh.  
"A lot of bad things had to happen in order for us to have met and been together." He felt tears forming in his eyes.  
"But if I got to spend the time I did with her again, it was all worth it."

Now he could hear several people crying. He looked near the back of the room and saw only Cas's dark hair as the rest of his face was buried in Dean's neck. His brother was crying by now, but he smiled at Sam.

Sam took another deep breath.  
"There were some very bad times." His gaze fell on Jessica's father.  
"But that's not how I want to remember her. That's not how I want anyone to remember her." He wiped away a tear as it slid down his cheek.  
"Jessica..." his voice cracked.  
"Her name was Jessica." He smiled at no one in particular, ignoring the tears that now fell freely.  
"And she was the most beautiful girl in the world."


	14. Chapter 14

Sam rose from his too-small couch when he heard a knock on his door.

Seconds later, he opened to door and was greeted by two familiar faces.

"Hi," he shook his head, "what are you guys doing here?"

Cas gave a small smile.  
"We have something to show you."

Sam stepped aside as Dean followed Cas into the room.  
Cas sat on the couch, placing his laptop on the coffee table.  
Sam raised his eyebrows at his brother as Cas began typing and clicking wildly.  
Dean gave him a half smile and patted the seat next to him on the couch.

He squeezed in between them and Cas set the laptop on Sam's thighs.

Sam's mouth opened slightly.  
"What is this?" His brow furrowed.

There she was. Her smiling face stared at him from the screen. He remembered this picture. There he was, arm around her shoulders, lips on her cheek. She was mid-giggle when the picture had been taken. 

Jessica.

Cas didn't answer, but hit a button and the screen changed.

Jessica sat upright in a hospital bed. She didn't look sick, he noted. It must have been early on.

She looked at whoever was manning the camera.  
"Is it on?" 

Sam recognized Cas's voice.  
"Yeah." He laughed. "Go."

She smiled and looked down.  
"Okay." she whispered.

"Hi, Sam." She looked up at the camera, eyes gleaming.

Sam exhaled loudly. Dean reached over and patted his knee.

"I guess I've been mostly asleep for these last couple of days..." She frowned.

"And um, I'm glad you left so I could do this." 

'This must have been when I went home that night. Of course! Cas stayed with her.' 

"This is my 'Just-in-Case' video. I hope you never have to see it."  
She closed her eyes for a moment.  
"I remember, Sam. I remember seeing you across the room for the first time at that stupid meeting." She gave a light laugh.  
"I'm so glad you came up to me. I would have been too nervous to do the same to you. At first I listened because I thought you were cute." She giggled and ran a hand through her curls.  
"But then I realized.. This guy cares. You really listened to me and you cared about what I was saying. It had been so long since someone really listened to what I was saying. They just heard me, but you listened." 

The camera shook a little and Sam heard Cas sniff. He wasn't sure if the noise came from the man beside him or the man behind the camera.

"We were both pretty messed up." She shook her head.  
"But I felt so much better around you. Like...like safer. And just happier."  
She smiled directly at the camera; at him.  
"I was so happy to talk to you, to laugh with you, to sing with you."

Sam smiled, he felt tears in his eyes, but he didn't care.

"Maybe I scared you a little that night. We had just been on our second date, with the boys, and you were driving me home. I remember," she laughed, "how surprised you looked when I knew the words to every song that you did. And I remember singing that Queen song and listening to you and watching you smile and realizing that I loved you."

The camera shook again, they all heard Cas's behind the scenes sniffles.

"Maybe I was being an idiot. Maybe I jumped in a little too soon, but it just happened. And Sam, I'm so glad it did."

'Me too Jess.'

"I was relieved when you didn't run screaming from me after that night. Of course you remember, I saw the look on your face when I said it."  
She smirked.  
"Well, maybe I didn't come right out and say it, but I think the message came across alright."

Her words from that night played back in his head. They had just finished singing "Somebody to Love" and she had smiled to herself and said, "Good thing I already found someone."

She smiled onscreen as if they had just shared that memory together. She hadn't said it, but he knew. It was their private memory.

"You saved me, Sam. My night in shining armor, my macho man," she smiled and looked down, "my gentleman."

She wrung her hands in her lap, still looking down.  
"Thank you, Sam." she said after a few seconds of silence.  
"Thank you for everything. You are my everything. "  
She looked up at the camera again, eyes shining, but this time with tears.  
"I love you, Sam. And I hope like hell that you never have to watch this." her voice broke.

"I would say I hope to God, but we never really agreed in that topic did we?" She gave a short laugh.  
"I think we decided that we were a science experiment. Well if that's true, and this is just some experiment, the guy running it sure is a dick."

Sam was crying now. He laughed through tears just as she had done when she made this.

"So, um... This is my 'Just-in-Case' video. I made it for you, baby." She wiped the tears off her cheeks.  
"Because I want you to remember forever and always, even if I'm not there to tell you myself, that I love you. I love you Sam Winchester and I'm so thankful for the time we have spent together." 

She smiled and the picture faded, the black screen replacing her.

"Play Again?" the pop-up prompted.

'Yes, play again.'


	15. Epilogue

3 years later  
The anniversary of Jessica's death

Sam limped up the all too familiar pathway.

At first coming here had meant tears, but that was then. 

The green grass bent under his weight, practically flattening to the ground. His hand brushed against an angel carved out of stone. 

Still moving, he squeezed the bouquet of pale pink roses in his hand.

The willow tree grew larger as he neared her final resting place.

He took a deep breath and smiled when he reached it.   
"Hey baby."   
He sat down in the lush grass, resting a hand on the cold sheet of marble. 

"Jessica Moore" it read.   
"A truly amazing woman"

"I brought you some flowers." He laid the buds softly on the grass stretching out in front of the headstone. 

He smiled and gave a heavy exhale that sounded almost like a laugh. "I miss you, Jess." 

He rubbed his swore shin.  
"I bought a puppy on Friday. He likes to bite. German Shepherd, named him Justin." 

He shrugged.  
"Maybe that's stupid. But I don't think it is." 

He sighed softly and dropped his head.   
"I know you can't hear me Jess, but I'm just gonna pretend for a little while okay?"

"I'm sorry it's been so long since I've come to see you. Too long. I haven't really known what to say. Well, I don't really even know what I'm saying now, but here I am... saying something."

He repositioned himself so that his back rested against the slab of marble sticking out of the ground.

"Dean and Cas are getting married." He smiled. "Isn't that amazing? I kept asking Dean if he was gonna pop the question, but in the end it was Cas." He let out a laugh.

"We were all just sitting in the living room. Cas told Dean he had bought some beer and asked him to get it out of the fridge. Dean went in the kitchen," Sam smiled again, "to get the beer. I heard him open the fridge than he just gasped and bolted back into the room, bottle of beer in his hand. He practically flew across the room, tackling Cas on the couch."

"You know what Cas did? He tied a set of silver rings to the bottle with a ribbon and a note. It said, "Who needs beer? Lets get drunk on love. Marry me Dean Winchester."

Sam laughed again, but this time tears streaked his face.  
"I wish you could have been there Jess. You deserve to have been there. You deserve to be here."

He sniffed and bit his lower lip.   
"And as corny as this sounds, you are here. You're here in my heart," he swallowed hard.   
"You're here in Dean's, in Cas's, in Jody's. In your father's."

He took a deep breath. He looked up into the blue could less sky and whispered, "I love you Jessica Moore."

He pressed his fingers to his lips.  
After kissing them lightly he touched them to the cool marble, feeling the groves that were her name.

"Thank you for everything, Jessica." 

He felt a lump in his throat, but he was smiling.

"And even though this is stupid, and even though you can't hear me, I want you to remember that I love you, even though you're not here to remind me."


	16. The wedding

The Wedding

Blue eyes stared up into green ones. 

Every other pair of eyes gazed up at the couple at the alter.

They were about to recite the vows they had written for each other. 

Dean took a deep breath, he couldn't believe this was really happening. He was so happy. 

"Cas," he began, his deep voice shaky, "today I take you to be my husband."   
He moved his thumb in circles against Cas's hands. The smile he got in return pushed the tears out onto his freckled cheeks.

"For many years now, you have been so much more than I could possibly ask for. A wonderful person, my biggest supporter, my best friend." 

He took a deep breath, fighting for control.  
"Your big heart," he swallowed, "your beautiful mind. Baby, there's no one else I would rather spend my life with." 

Th happiness welling inside of Cas's chest forced its way out into a sound much like a laugh. He beamed up at the teary eyes man before him. 

"No matter what should happen," Dean continued, "I promise to love you, respect you, be faithful to you, and share with you what is mine. This I promise to you."

Sam stood to the side of his brother. He couldn't see his brothers face, but he could hear the emotion in his voice. He looked past Cas to Gabriel, Cas's brother and the other groomsman.  
He smiled at Sam and shook his head. They too had tears that threatened to fall. 

Cas took a deep breath and sniffed, dropping his head.  
"How am I supposed to top that?" He said softly, receiving teary laughs from the crowd. 

He looked up again to Dean, whose smile shine brighter than the stars.

"Okay." Cas whispered. "Here I go."

"Dean," he squeezed both of his hands. "In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow."   
His voice threatened to break, it was hardly louder than a whisper.

"I promise to spend with you the remainder of my days, falling a little more in love with you every time I see you." His voice cracked with emotion and he too fell victim to the tears of joy.

"I promise to love and cherish you through whatever is thrown our way. I love you Dean Winchester and I'm so thankful to be able to spend the rest of my life with you." 

Dean sniffed and gave the short laughing sound that Cas had earlier.   
He mouthed to Cas silently, "I love you too."

The preacher smiled at the boys.   
"Dean, do you take this man to be your wedded husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health, remaining faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"

Dean smiled down at Cas. "I do."

"Castiel, do you take this man to be your wedded husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health, remaining faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"

Cas whispered, "I do."

"Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wed. You may kiss your husband."

Dean threw his arms around Cas's neck. Cas pulled Dean's waist towards him and their lips met quickly. 

The crowd cheered and Dean pulled away slowly resting his forehead on Cas's.

"We just got married," he whispered down to his husband.

Cas smiled from ear to ear.   
"I couldn't happier."

Dean saw Sam and Gabriel approaching.

He looked up at his beaming baby brother. He was so proud of him. After everything he had been though, Sam was standing strong. How could Dean not be proud?

He looked back down at Cas.  
"I love you Baby."

Cas pressed himself against his husband.  
"I love you too pretty boy."


End file.
